This Dad Asked if He’s Wrong for Wanting to Tell His Daughter’s Dark Secret to Her Boyfriend

Wow…this sounds intense…

What are you supposed to do if someone is going to marry a person in your family and you know a dark secret about them?

Do you tell the other person or do you just keep your mouth shut?

That’s the dilemma this dad finds himself in and he asked the readers on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page what they think about it.

Take a look at what he had to say.

“I’m the dad of a 25 year old young woman who I love very much.

I’ve been able to have a good relationship with my daughter and I enjoy my time with her, but there’s one thing about her that would give many people pause – she is a diagnosed sociopath.

She exhibited odd, disturbing behavior at a young age, and after a serious incident of abuse towards her younger sister, I realized she needed professional help. Throughout her elementary years she struggled heavily, getting in lots of trouble in school for lying, cruelty and all other types of misbehaviors.

With an enormous amount of therapy & support, her bad behavior was minimized as she grew older. She received an ASPD diagnosis at 18, and I had suspected it for long prior.

After her aggressive behavior was tamed, her following years were much more fruitful. She’s law-abiding; has a decent job and a good education; and has many good friendships and admirers. Especially male admirers; she is very, very charming and adept at attracting guys and maintaining their interest. S

he uses that old dating guide “The Rules” like a Bible. She currently has a boyfriend of about a year and a half who’s crazy about her, and who I have a very strong relationship with (we live in the same area and spend time together regularly). He is a great guy, very kind, funny and intelligent.

But I doubt she loves him. We’ve had some very honest, in-depth discussions about her mental health since her diagnosis, and she’s been open with me that she doesn’t feel love or empathy towards anyone, even family.

When she acted very sad and broken up over the death of one of her closest friends at the funeral, she confessed to me privately that it was all a put-on, and that she felt “pretty neutral” about the whole thing. She has also stated she has never once felt guilty about anything she’s ever done, and doesn’t know what guilt feels like.

While she enjoys being around her boyfriend and is s*xually attracted to him, I highly doubt she feels much of anything towards him love-wise.

Her boyfriend (who might propose soon) has no idea about her diagnosis, and she’s been very upfront with me that she has no plans to ever tell him, thinking it’ll scare him away.

I’ve made it clear to her that she needs to tell him the truth before they marry; that he has the right to know and consider it; or I will; to which she always responds, “I know you wouldn’t dare.” I actually would – I really like and respect this young man, and would feel awful keeping this “secret” from him, and letting him walk into a marriage without this piece of knowledge.

I’m not trying to sabotage my daughter’s future. Maybe her boyfriend’s love of her personality and other aspects is enough that it won’t end the relationship. It’s his decision to make; but he deserves all the facts. Someday he’s bound to find out she’s a bit “off”; it can’t be kept a secret forever.

AITA?”

That’s a tough one, indeed.

This reader said he’s NTA and brought up a good question.

Another individual also said he’s NTA and that he needs to tell him about this.

And one Reddit user laid out what needs to happen here.

I can’t fault him for telling the boyfriend, but this does sting.