‘You lose friends.’ People Share The Cons of NOT Having Kids.

You hear a lot of back and forth out there about if it’s better to have kids or to live a childless life.

I say to each their own, but as someone who doesn’t have kids, I think there are definitely some negatives to it.

And so do these AskReddit users.

Take a look at what they had to say about this topic.

“You lose friends.

This is one of my biggest fears. I love my friends and I would never do anything that may prevent them from living their best life. If getting married and having children is where their happiness lies, I’ll support them unconditionally.

That, however, doesn’t mean that I don’t fear losing them in the process. It’s a real possibility and one that breaks my heart. Friendships are difficult to keep once you reach adulthood because you have too many other things demanding your time and energy.

Some people leave their friends for their partner, some others manage to find balance. But with children it’s different. They will demand more time and energy and they will become a priority above any friendship, no matter how old and sacred. Even if your friends want to keep things “as always”, they can’t and things will change.

You will not have the same interests and conversations anymore. They may sometimes infantilize you for not wanting a family of your own. Maybe they may even resent you at times, even if deep down they love you as always.

Losing your friends to their children is hard but sometimes is the way things go. The best thing we can do is support them as long as we can and let them go if things get sour. Wish them luck and be grateful for their company.”

“You don’t have the same perception of time.

When I run into a friend and his kids have aged ten years, I realize how old I am.”

“As a child free adult in their 30s, my friends are all either a decade younger or a decade older than me. Finding friends is more difficult.

The younger friends want to go out later and the older ones just don’t always relate as well. It’s a grey area for my age group.”

“Being asked when you’re going to have kids.

At this point, I just have a prepared response: “Don’t need to, don’t want to, don’t care to; and no, I won’t change my mind. I’m happy being single and not having kids.”

Either I use the whole thing, say something along that line, or just use the first part before the semicolon.”

“Having people who have kids tell you what you’re missing by not having kids has to be one of the most annoying things about not having kids.”

“There is a childfree tax in most workplaces. You have to fill in the slack that people with kids often leave.

Having to work longer, harder, and during holidays because “others have a family’ “. No unquestioned excuses to leave work one-time or early because of “family”.”

“Having people assume that your desire to not want children stems from either:
A: Inability to have kids.
B: Inability to be a good parent.
C: Can’t be trusted around kids.
Just because I do not want children does not make me less of a person or worse, someone that would do harm to children.”

“My wife passed away almost two years ago when she was only 37.

My wife and I decided not to have children. I just turned 40 and spent my birthday alone. 40 is supposed to be a big event but I had no one to be with.

Also once I’m dead and gone all the memories my wife and I made will die with me. That’s a depressing thought.”

“None. There are no cons of not having kids.

To be fair, my kids are young. Perhaps in 15-20 years I will enjoy so many benefits from having adult kids that I will sing a different tune, but I don’t see that being realistic.

If I had to give you a con, I’d say that without having kids you legit can never know the love you are capable of. Love that you experience for others is like a shadow of real unconditional love a decent parent has for his kids.

I can say that because I have genuinely loved many people before I had kids, but if there was a choice between my kids safety and ALL of those people drowning in a river, it wouldn’t take me a second to choose my kids. I’d personally strangle every one I love, if it protected my kids. My love for them is like something unreal.

You just cannot understand it if you don’t have kids. But… you also don’t know what you’re missing so it isn’t really a downside. Not experiencing love that makes you crazy, isn’t really a con. Regular love is plenty.”

“Holidays aren’t as special without kids.

They’re fine without kids, but with kids, holidays are EVENTS.”

“My father recently told me how much he hoped to be a grandfather.

It came out of nowhere, and I had no idea.

It was the first time I felt bad about not wanting children, and I had no idea what to say.

It made me depressed for a couple weeks because I’m usually pretty good at solving problems, but under no circumstances is that a reason to have children.”

The biggest con to me?

A lot MORE money in your back account.

Oh… is that not a bad thing?