Would You Keep Your Fiance’s Secret Even If It Would Improve Your Family’s Opinion Of Him?

It’s a sad truth that too many people of means judge others by their ability to make “good money” and not by the sort of person they are on the inside.

OP comes from a family of high-earners in careers that are typically well-regarded (surgeons, etc), but she fell in love with a construction manager/owner.

My family is very well educated and full of professionals including several doctors, surgeons, dentists, etc. I have a good career and make a good living.

When I met my fiancé, he was at my house to supervise a roofing crew the insurance company hired to replace my damaged roof. I instantly fell for him when he pulled up in his truck and couldn’t keep my eyes off of him for the rest of the day as he gave orders to his men.

For a long time she assumed that she out-earned him by quite a bit, but eventually she learned that, due to all of the properties he owned and managed in addition to his thriving construction business, that was far from the truth.

When we started dating, he was vague about his job and I just chalked it up to him being insecure about me having a better career. I didn’t care about our income imbalance.

When we got serious, we talked about our future plans and that was when he told me the full extent of his little construction company. I was shocked that his construction earnings is as much as my dad’s surgeon salary.

Gradually he took me around to the handful of construction lots and shopping centers he owns. His rental income combined with his construction earnings is double that of my dad’s.

He said that few people know about his finances and he expects me to keep what I know to myself.

Her family has always looked down on him as a laborer, making fun of him behind his back.

My parents disapproved of him since the 1st time I brought him home. My dad coined the term “tool boy” and the rest of my family joined in whenever they talk behind my fiancé’s back. They don’t call him that to his face but instead make snide remarks.

Once my mom said during dinner that they’re thinking about hiring someone to mow their lawn then turned to my fiancé and asked him what he charges.

I always try to defend him and it’s a constant battle.

Recently, when her dad was pushing her to get a prenup before the wedding, OP blew up and told them that he earned more than her parents put together.

It’s gotten worse since we’re planning our wedding and the other day my nerves just broke. Yesterday parents were trying to get me into getting a prenuptial then my dad said, “you have to protect your assets just in case tool boy decides to go slumming.”

I lost it and yelled at my parents. During our shouting, I blurted out his earnings and that he makes more than both of them combined then I stormed out.

It shut them up, but OP sort of forgot that she had promised her fiance that she would keep his financial position to himself.

I told my fiancé what happened but instead of supporting me, he got mad that I told his parents that. I argued that I was defending him then we got into an argument.

My parents and family are mad at me for keeping secrets. My fiancé is mad at me for not keeping secrets. I’m stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do.

Now her parents are mad that she kept the secret and her fiance is mad that she didn’t.

Whose side is Reddit on? Let’s find out!

The top commenter obviously thinks OP would be better off modeling her life off her fiance’s and not her parents’.

This person worries nothing will actually make her family like him.

This comment says OP was understandably frustrated but she needs to let her family know whose side she’s always going to be on here.

They say she’s an “accidental ah.”

And they can recognize that pushing back against family is tough.

I don’t think she meant anything by it.

It’s hard to go against the people who raised you and the way they think all at the same time.