There’s always advice out there for parents that promise to be the game changer everyone’s been looking for but since every child is different, the claim rarely rings true. But this piece of advice might just do the thing it claims because it’s such a simple shift and allows for both parent and child to feel validated in tough situations.
Anjuli Paschall recently posted a video sharing a phrase her mom used with her as a child that changed her life. She shares that over Christmas break she was washing the family’s antique china, five of the fragile dishes fell to the floor and shattered. At the sound of the noise, Paschall’s mom screamed from the other room, “I love you more than those dishes.”
A simple reassuring phrase that Paschall has heard all of her life reassuring her that mistakes happen but her mom will always love her more.
But her mom didn’t just use it when mishaps occurred, she used it even when accomplishments were achieved. The purpose was to continually remind Paschall that nothing she could do or achieve would diminish her mother’s love. Children can absorb so much and internalize things that may come out in perfectionist tenancies, so the phrase “I love you more than…” is meant to build confidence and self forgiveness. Commenters tell Paschall how helpful that phrase is and how their plans to use it.
“Decorating birthday sugar cookies with my 7 year old today and the platter we loaded them on dropped and broke as she carried it… my immediate reaction, ‘It’s fine… I love you so much more than that platter and cookies… we’ll make more.’
Your post was so timely, friend. Thank you,” one mom writes.
“As someone whose expertise is mind and nervous system development and how this influences adult life, this is so powerful. When they feel this as kids they don’t NEED to hear it from the world, because it is encoded within them as embodied truth already,” someone else shares.
“You know what’s the best part? This sentence is very real, logical, and gives even the parent themselves a reality check that they may need in a moment when they’re angry. Yes, I love those dishes. But do I love them more than I love my child? Hell no. So yeah, better tell them in that moment when they are in a doubt,” another says.
While this little phrase may not be for everyone, it is certainly one that a lot of commenters are wishing they heard as children. Watch the entire video below:
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/gentle-parenting-secret-phrase