Three bachelorette parties and numerous other events later, this woman shelled out thousands for her friend’s wedding … all for it to end in weeks.
Oct. 16 2023, Published 2:58 p.m. ET
Imagine spending a small fortune to be a part of your best friend’s wedding — only for that marriage to fall apart within two weeks.
Worse still? Your best friend is being super blasé about the whole thing.
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Actually, maybe the worst part is this: Your best friend knew before the wedding that the marriage wasn’t going to last.
Are you frustrated? Or do you think perhaps there’s more to this story?
Well, this is the situation for one woman on Mumsnet, who is now reeling after shelling out thousands for her BFF’s big day … which turned out to be a “sham,” as she called it.
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“The guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess and it was never about getting married.”
In a post on the “Am I Being Unreasonable” (AIBU) subforum on Mumsnet, a user called Littlewhitedoves (we’ll call her Dove) broke down her story.
Dove wants to know if it’s fair for her to be “annoyed at spending so much money on my friend’s dream wedding day for it all to be a sham and over in a matter of weeks.”
She realizes that her friend’s happiness is the most important thing, of course, but she’s frustrated that her friend is now making light of the whole thing.
“She is being so blasé about the whole situation and laughing about it being the shortest marriage, she knew it wasn’t going to last etc.,” Dove writes.
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She tried to ask her friend for more details, to get a better understanding of the situation. Dove admits that she didn’t think the guy was “the right fit” for her friend — but her friend had given no indication that anything was wrong before the wedding.
But it turns out her friend knew before the wedding that things weren’t going to last.
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So why didn’t the friend just break things off with her man before walking down the aisle, you might ask?
“She said she didn’t want to let people down and would’ve been embarrassed to cancel,” Dove explains. “She wanted her fairy-tale day and the wedding of dreams.”
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Well, Dove is none too pleased about this — mainly because of the money she spent to be a part of her friend’s dream day.
Not only did this friend have three bachelorette parties, but apparently there were numerous bottomless brunches, dress try-ons with lunches, hotel stays, and more to account for — not even including all the typical expenses that guests have to deal with, like buying an outfit to wear.
“Then don’t get me started on the wedding gift!” Dove adds in her post, noting that she spent thousands in the end on her friend’s very short-lived marriage.
Dove says that “it has just irked me that I spent so much and put so much effort into little details to make it really special and essentially the guests funded a day for her to feel like a princess and it was never about getting married.”
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Not everyone was so sympathetic for Dove.
“More fool you for spending that much money on something that wasn’t for you,” wrote one Mumsnet commenter.
Another echoed: “Well I think you were a bit daft to spend so much on someone else’s wedding, especially if you knew beforehand the couple were unlikely to last, but nevertheless I agree it’s frustrating and a bit of a letdown.”
“It was your choice to spend the money. Don’t buy things you can’t afford,” wrote someone else.
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Some said that the friend was perhaps just putting on a brave face, and that this was likely devastating for the friend.
“I’d imagine she’s trying to put on a brave face and laughing it off because she’s upset, embarrassed, all the other emotions anyone feels when their marriage ends. Even looking at it from the purely financial perspective you are, do you really think she wanted to spend tens of thousands of pounds of her dream wedding and then break up a fortnight later?” someone wrote.
“My marriage also fell apart after a couple of weeks. I was so humiliated and embarrassed I used humor as a coping strategy too. Really I was dying inside. … I hope she’s OK,” someone else commented.
“Surely this is bravado though? She must be broken inside?” another said.
What do you think about this situation? Is Dove right to be mad, or is there way more going on in this story than we know for sure?
Source: https://www.distractify.com/p/money-friends-wedding-divorced-two-weeks