Was This Man Wrong For Telling His Daughter She Has No Parental Rights For The Biological Son She Gave Up?

Families can be complex, without a doubt. Often, parents strive to act in the best interest of their children, and personal experiences can make them more empathetic than ever before.

Take, for instance, the story of a man whose daughter became pregnant at the age of 18 but felt she couldn’t embrace motherhood. Understanding the gravity of her situation from his own past, he compassionately chose to adopt the baby upon birth, releasing her from any responsibility.

Having been a young father himself, he empathized with her position and refrained from passing judgment when she willingly relinquished all her rights and embarked on her own journey in life.

So my (49M) daughter got pregnant when she was 18, she didn’t want a kid, especially not that young, so after some serious talk, I said I would take in her child, but she said she didn’t want any responsibility for the child so ended up signing away her parental rights and I adopted her child as soon as he was born. she went off and finished college, travelled, and I fully supported her.

my son (my daughter’s child, but I will be calling him my son) is now 16 and is an amazing kid. and my daughter has barely come seen him, and if she does come round, she just ignores him. he knows that she is his bio mother but after a few failed reconnection attempts when he was younger, he’s given up on a relationship with her.

these last few weeks a few things happened, my daughter got engaged to her long term boyfriend, my son came out to me (i fully support him), and my son also won a small local skating competition. he been skating since he was 9 and loves it, it’s his preferred mode of transport and he is known by the local skating community and skate shop.

when my daughter got engaged, she said she didn’t want any secrets, so told her fiance that she has a child, but that I have adopted him. his kids (I’m not sure age but they are young), not understanding that my daughter and my son are estranged, wanted to meet their ‘new brother’ even after days of refusing and kid-friendly explanations they didn’t give up, so they brought the kids to meet my son.

my son was friendly with the kids and their dad, and was civil with my daughter. my son and the kids went off to play and my daughter and her fiance sat with me to talk. after a while, the fiance noticed my son’s trophy on a shelf and asked about it, when I explained his look interested but my daughter looked horrified. she sent her fiance to check on the kids then asked me what I was doing, letting him do something so dangerous. she said that skateboarding was for ‘delinquents’ and that as his mother she doesn’t want him skating anymore.

when she said mother, I have to admit I did laugh, I reminded her that I had parental rights over him and that she has no say, she was clearly upset by this and called me cruel, saying that she was a child when she got pregnant and that she’s a different person now and is even trying for a child with her fiance, I told her that that doesn’t matter and that my son is MY son. she then got really upset and grabbed her fiance and his kids and left.

at first, I didn’t think I was in the wrong but now that I think about it, it might have been rude to laugh and hold my paternal rights over her head like that, these past few weeks have been emotional so maybe I overreacted, so AITA?

What does Reddit say?

The importance of her opinion is negligible, and she ought to bear that in mind.

It does appear that her concern in this situation might be more of a show than genuine.

To be frank, there are doubts about whether the daughter has truly matured significantly.

In my opinion, this woman’s behavior is quite problematic. It’s not because she chose not to be a parent at 18, but rather because she now expects a complete stranger to cater to her demands without any consideration of the hurtful silence she caused.