This Woman Is Asking Her Daughter To Help Her Go To The Bathroom After Her Surgery, Even Though Her Husband Could Do It. Is She Wrong?

Some people will really use anything for an excuse to be lazy and waited on, and while I get needing the break, asking one’s kids to reverse the roles from their infancy is probably crossing the line.

OP is the older teenage daughter of a woman who is set to have wrist surgery. She’s made it clear that her daughter, not her husband, will be tasked with her care afterward.

My mother has an upcoming surgery on her right wrist and wants me to take care of her after the surgery.

As her daughter (19F) She expects me to wash her, wipe her bottom after going to the toilet, and probably more.

OP told her she’s not at all comfortable with that and her mother has avoided talking to her since.

I told her that I was very uncomfortable with that and that she could hire someone to do that or ask her husband for help.

After I told her that she got visibly upset because, as her daughter, it is expected for me to take care of her.

I am slightly annoyed that just because I’m of the “female” gender I am expected to be her caretaker.

And of course, I’ll help her with getting dressed up, cooking, or cleaning the house. It’s just washing and wiping her genitalia that I don’t feel comfortable with.

When she tried talking to her dad, he shrugged it off as a daughter’s duty as well.

I didn’t mean to hurt her, but what she wanted from me crossed my boundaries.

My father is healthy and will probably help her after the surgery. He would just prefer if I did it because I am the “daughter.”

OP’s fine with helping but not fudging her boundaries – Reddit’s going to let her know whether or not that’s enough!

The top comment was from a similarly aged woman who says that amount of help should not be needed.

This person reiterated that the mother is not helpless.

This comment, though, called the first two out for criticizing the wrong thing.

Most people, though, don’t agree.

That said, the misogyny is what really got under people’s skin.

Yeah, I don’t think I’d be ok with this, either.

I mean, I’d do it if I had to, but not just because.