This Man Is The Sole Breadwinner. Should He Have To Give His Wife Spending Money, Too?

There are some posts on Reddit that are so completely, jaw-droppingly, appalling that I want to think they’re fiction.

Sadly, the older I get the more I have to accept that they’re not – and also that there are a lot of people out there being treated poorly in their relationships.

This OP is a real piece of work, if you ask me. He admits up front that even though he and his wife both used to work (and that she used to out earn him), she was recently able to quit her job.

Her nan, who raised her, passed and left her a significant inheritance, which she spent buying them a new house, new cars, and saving for retirement.

She also decided to stay home because she has a disability that made working hard.

Before the birth of our daughter, my wife and I both worked full time in low-middle earning jobs with my wife earning a bit more than I but not by much.

My wife returned to work out of necessity when our daughter was 3 months old. Her mental health became pretty bad and she has a minor disability that makes work life a little hard and she found it a bit worse after having our daughter but we had to do what we had to do.

My wife’s nan who sort of raised her and was her only family passed away sadly when our daughter was 6 months old. My wife inherited everything she owned. It was a big inheritance. Not enough for us both to immediately retire but a lot. Enough for us to buy a decent house outright, a new car each and to put some away for a comfortable retirement.

Shortly after her nan died, my wife stopped working and became a stay at home mom. Partially due to grief and struggles at her job, and a bit because she always would have preferred to stay home with our daughter.

He’s feeling put out because he doesn’t want to work, either, and so has decided he shouldn’t have to “fund” her “hobbies,” like sewing and going to the gym.

Thing is though, I’d rather not work and be a stay at home dad too but I’ve been sucking it up because we still need an income to get by.

My wife spoke with me recently about how to budget so we can live off just my income (she’d been dipping into savings to pull her weight but that’s all tied up in investments now). I said if I’m the one who has to work (and I’d rather not) I don’t think I should have to spend my money funding her hobbies and spending money.

If she chooses not to work then she can buy clothes at the charity shop instead of new and get a friend to cut her hair for free etc. Or she can get a job working a night shift or start an online business or something to fund her spending money.

I don’t see why I should have to pay for stuff like her sewing materials and gym membership since I don’t benefit from them and they’re not my responsibility.

He’s being magnanimous and continuing to support their child, though. What a gem.

I’m happy to pay for stuff for our daughter seeing as she’s my responsibility so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable here. I work 36 hours a week and I already pay for the bills and food. She said that’s not fair if I get to enjoy my gym membership and hobbies like video games but the difference is I’m paying for them with my money.

My wife said her inheritance was worth more than if she spent her whole life working and without that, both of us would be working anyway and having higher expenses from paying a mortgage and car loans so I should count that as her contribution and share my money with her.

AITA?

Let’s just sit back and let Reddit rip into him, eh?

The top comment points out that she did not have to share any of her inheritance with him…but she did.

And maybe he should be paying her for his car or his house, then?

Image Credit: Reddit

This person is wondering what he’s done to deserve what he’s asking her for, really.

Image Credit: Reddit

He clearly doesn’t care about her at all.

Image Credit: Reddit

He’s trying to make himself look better but no one is buying it.

Image Credit: Reddit

See what I mean? Just appalling.

There’s no other word for it, really. At least, not a nicer one.