This Kid Wants To Dance With His Stepmom At His Wedding. Is His Mother Wrong To Feel Hurt?

Weddings might be expensive and stressful, but they’re also very meaningful events in many people’s lives. Young people and older people might have spent years imagining what that day would look like when it came, and if the reality is somehow different, it’s easy to feel betrayed.

OP is a young man whose parents split up when he was very young. His father married his affair partner almost right away and he has always had a good relationship with both his mother and his stepmother.

Im (29M) currently planning a wedding and were getting into the nitty gritty details. For background my parents got divorced when I was 5. The divorce happened after my dad fell in love with his current wife/my stepmom Alice. They claim they didn’t cheat but waited to be separated before anything physical happened. I dont know or need to know whether thats true at this point.

My dad and Alice got married and were living together by the time I was 7. They had my two siblings within the next 4 years. My parents had split custody and Alice was 100% a mother figure to me. We are very close, she’s been there for me for every tough moment of my life. She also helped pay for my college and grad school which Im extremely appreciative of.

My mom is a good mom but we’ve never been as close as I am with my dad and Alice. Our personalities are just very different.

Now that he’s getting married and planning a wedding, he wants to dance with both women for the mother-son portion of the reception.

His stepmother was floored and grateful.

We’re planning the first dances right now and have my first dance with my fiancee and she has hers picked out with her dad. Her parents are still married so there’s no drama there.

Being so close to Alice, I really dont feel right excluding her and only doing a dance with my mom, so I asked her if she’d be comfortable doing one with me as well. She was overjoyed and cried with emotion. Im really excited for it.

His mother accused him of choosing the other woman, just as his father had, and is upset with him for even considering it.

But once my mom found out she flipped out. Said Im replacing her like my dad replaced her.

I told her its not a replacement but she’s been so supportive of me my entire life and I consider her a true “bonus mother” so I don’t want to exclude her.

She doesnt want to accept that.

Several people have let him know they think it’s a jerk move, but he says this is what his heart is telling him to do, and he knows it’s not unheard of.

Yesterday my aunt (mom’s sister) called me and ripped me a new one. I know its a little controversial but in my heart its what I really want to do. AITA for going through with this and having two mother son dances?

Personally, I’ve been to a few weddings with steps involved where there were two mother son or father daughter and it seemed really sweet, not like overkill.

I would do shortened versions of the songs so it wont be too long if that matters.

What does Reddit think he should do? You know they’re not going to be shy about telling him!

The top comment says very gently that there is no one who is wrong here; everyone’s feelings are valid, so they’ll have to navigate the conflict.

But this person says that after twenty-five years, his mother should really have gotten over the hurt of what happened.

This commenter disagreed, saying that mom has every right to still be salty – and OP has every right to want to include his stepmother.

Many people were, in fact, very sympathetic toward OP’s mother.

Either way, hard feelings are probably inevitable.

This is a tough one, and I feel badly for OP.

It is his wedding, but other’s people’s feelings are always going to be involved, too.