Should This Mom Feel Guilty For Making Her Son Move Home From His Dad’s?

Divorce and co-parenting are unfortunate realities of life for many families. It takes practice, compromise, and a lot of biting of tongues to make it work – and time doesn’t hurt, either.

OP and her ex have been doing it for a decade, though, and had settled on an arrangement where their teenager slept at his dad’s during the week and his mom’s on the weekend.

Dad lives closer to school and the son spends most of his time there, at football practice, and at work.

I (40F) have a son, Jayden (16M) with my ex-husband (42M.) Jayden’s Dad and I divorced 10 years ago when Jayden was 6. I’m still single while Jayden’s dad has remarried to his wife (36F.)

Jayden has lived with his Dad and Stepmom on weekdays and me on the weekends since he started High School 2 years since his school is much closer to his Dad’s house.

Jayden mainly goes to school, plays football with his friends and work part time at the local McDonald’s.

When OP found out that her ex was taking some of her son’s paycheck for bills she didn’t think it was a bad thing, but she did ask them to leave most of it for him.

Being honest, neither Jayden’s Dad nor I make a lot of money. We both live comfortably but we certainly can’t afford luxuries. That’s why Jayden wanted to work. He needs money to go out with his friends.

When he got his job I found out that Jayden’s Dad and Stepmom were making him give them money for bills. I didn’t care at the time, its teaching him financial responsibility was my only thought.

Come to find out there were taking up to 70% of his check which made Jayden upset. That did me upset as well. Yes, Jayden is still a kid and should help out from time to time but he works so hard and deserves more of his own money.

I talked to his Dad who promised to make a budget with Jayden that would please both of them. I hoped this would this would fix the issue.

They doubled down, taking his entire paycheck, and when her son told her it upset him, she decided he should stay with her for the time being.

That conversation was a 3 months ago. Today Jayden told me that they have been taking 100% of his paychecks. A quick look at his account confirmed this. Jayden also told me that whenever he tries to set limits with his Dad or Stepmom they guilt him by saying things like “I helped bring you into this world the least you can do is help me out. (From his dad.)” And “you’re not my child but I let you let live with me anyway. (From his Stepmom.)”

I really don’t like this behavior from those two. That kind of talk seems like manipulation and it makes me uncomfortable.

I told Jayden that I wanted him to live with me for the remainder of the school year away from his Dad and Stepmom. He’s old enough to the point where the courts can’t force anything and he agreed.

He agreed and they moved him out (amid some controversy), but now she’s wondering if she acted too rashly.

We went to his Dad’s place to get some of his things and to tell that Jayden was moving. They helped us get some of his stuff but instead of handing it to us they’d throw it.

Not a hard throw but still off putting. We left the house with Jayden’s things and went home.

While I do feel justified I do have seconds thoughts about removing Jayden from his Dad like that. Even if he agreed. AITA?

Is Reddit going to support her? Let’s find out!

The top comment says the behavior is terrible and OP did the right thing by her kid.

This person calls out what they did as financial abuse.

They’re laying out the hard facts for OP.

They tell OP what a good mother she has been.

I am so glad this kiddo has his mom to advocate for him.

Too many people out there are willing to take advantage of their own kids.