Should She Have Talked To Her Son’s Boyfriend Without Having All Of The Information First?

Moms everywhere know that it’s tough to not put your own kid’s feelings above everyone else’s – sometimes even your own.

This woman noticed that her 15yo son’s boyfriend was coming around more and more often. It bothered her, but she was just going to let it go until she noticed that it also seemed to be bothering her son.

My youngest Son “Tyler” 15M has a boyfriend “Marius” 16M. Now I like Marius fine for the most part other than that motorcycle he rides Tyler on all over perdition and being a lil rough around the ages.

But lately in the last few weeks he’s literally always around. He comes for dinner , breakfast, and stays long after he shoulda already gone home. He’ll just sometimes be there at the house waiting for Tyler to get home from like a family outing.

I can also tell it was starting to bother Tyler and he looks like he might want a little distance.

She talked to the boyfriend as gently as possible but he seemed upset – an observation that was confirmed when her son confronted her about butting in.

Yesterday I caught Marius after he dropped Tyler home from football and asked him what was up and whyd he’d been around so much lately. He just kinda shrugged and. wouldn’t say much. Well I tried to explain the best I could that we love having him around ,but that maybe it’d be best if he went back to regular business hours or that maybe Tyler could go over his place sometimes. He kinda got this weird look on his face and just said yeah fine.

This morning I hear Tyler yelling profanities upstairs. I go to investigate and he starts in on how I could say anything to Marius like that. A little confused I asked why he was so upset.

He told her that his boyfriend’s dad wasn’t taking his coming out well at all and that’s why he was around – and even though he was wishing he could have more space, he was sucking it up for the time being.

Tyler confided in me thar Marius recently came out to his dad who wasn’t taking it great and he’d been avoiding going home and I basically told him to stay away.

I apologized especially since I didn’t know all the details just that he seemed uncomfortable with all the attention. Tyler somberly told me he was but that he was sucking it up for Marius.

AITA?

The mom is asking Reddit whether she overstepped or if her son had indeed needed an advocate.

The top comment says her mistake was not talking to her son first.

This person hopes there is a way that everyone can be safe and comfortable.

Just a reminder what assuming does…

Everyone hopes OP can apologize and work with both boys going forward.

Others agree that OP’s son needs to be the priority.

This is a tough one.

I hope OP reads all of the comments and takes them to heart.