‘She’s now furious about the situation.’ She Told Her Sister That It’s Her Fault She’s Alienated From the Family. Is She Wrong?

It’s all your fault!

Oh, boy, here we go again…

This woman asked the fine folks on Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” if she’s wrong for what she said to her sister…

And it sounds like she’s having some second thoughts about…

Read on to see what’s going on here and let us know what you think.

“I am one of three siblings: 29F, 27F (me), and 22M.

This all started about five years ago, when my older sister came to me and told me she was looking into our genealogy and wanted me to do one of those novelty genetics tests.

I wasn’t enthusiastic about it, but she was weirdly insistent, so I gave her the samples she asked for and moved on, not really giving it much more thought. At no point did I have a digital login for any results. I also never thought to mention this to my parents.

A few months after this, Sister moved six hours away for another job and was non communicative. She would call Dad every once in a while, but Brother and I found that if we didn’t call/text her first, we wouldn’t hear from her, and she basically cut Mom off outright. When questioned about this, she would refuse to acknowledge that’s what she was doing.

Ultimately, we all just accepted it. Mom was totally baffled and broken hearted, and the rest of us naturally became less close with Sister as a result. Even she and Dad only talk a few times a year now, and none of us have seen her in person in five years.

Earlier this year, Brother did 23AndMe and got weird results that led to hard conversations. Mom and Dad came clean that the three of us were donor conceived, a choice they made because Dad is infertile. They apologized for not telling us earlier, but Dad felt strongly about not telling us because he never wanted us to think of him as any less our dad.

Dad called Sister and told her this too after we talked, and she basically had a breakdown on the phone. It turns out that she knew Dad wasn’t her bio father, and firmly believed for five years that Mom had cheated on Dad and had been nursing intense resentments as a result.

Apparently she did a genetics test five years ago and was puzzled that the ancestry info didn’t match with what we knew about Dad’s family. That’s when she came to me to get a sample. She sent it to a lab with hers, and they confirmed the results were genetic half-siblings, with the same mother and different fathers. She drew her own conclusions from there (that dad was my bio-father and not hers, and that Mom had had an affair) and uprooted her life to get a fresh start.

She’s now furious about the situation and feels like she’s been robbed of the last five years. When we last talked, I was maybe less sympathetic than I should have been and told her cutting us off with no explanation was an insane move, and if she’d told us even a fraction of what was going on, it could have been cleared up years ago.

I acknowledged Mom and Dad messed up here by not being truthful about our genetic identities (which I’m also struggling with my own feelings on), but in the end, it was her decision to do this dramatic move and slow fade with zero explanation. I also expressed how hurt Brother and I had been to be left out of her life, and that it wasn’t fair to punish us for what she thought had happened.

AITA?”

And here’s how people reacted on Reddit.

This reader said she’s NTA…by a mile.

Another Reddit user said she’s NTA but she didn’t make things any better.

And one individual said she’s NTA and her sister shouldn’t have made assumptions.

With everybody struggling to connect and get ahead in this world, it always surprises me when people make these BIG shifts just because they don’t share biology with the family who chose to support them.

Oh well, to each their own.