‘She was horrified he would do it at a bar.’ Are They Wrong For Telling A Friend That The Way He Proposed Was Disrespectful?

Is it wrong to call out someone else’s proposal as disrespectful?

I mean, if it doesn’t directly affect you, why would you care, right?

Hmmm…that’s a tough one…

Let’s see what’s going on in this story from Reddit’s “Am I the A**hole?” page and we hope to hear from you in the comments.

“Alright, so here’s the deal. My friend (m27) decided to propose to his girlfriend of 3 years, Dina. (F26). The two met at a bar pre-COVID, and were just chatting at first but it quickly led to more and eventually the two of them moved in together and discussed marriage.

Personally, I think they’re a great match, and my friend, Stephen, has never been happier. He told me that he was planning to propose to Dina, and I was ecstatic.

Well, the day of the proposal hits, and I called Stephen the next day, which was last night, to congratulate him. But he wasn’t happy. He told me that Dina had said no. I was shocked, and asked if he knew why. He said that she didn’t like how he proposed.

Now here’s the thing. I knew he was going to pop the question, but I didn’t know how he was going to do it. He thought it would be romantic to propose at the place they met…yes. A bar.

Already I could kind of see why she might not like that, but I decided to ask her privately because she and I have gotten to be close. She confided in me that it’s because she told Stephen multiple times that she didn’t want to have a public proposal, and that she was horrified he would do it at a bar of all places and that she felt disrespected that he didn’t accommodate that.

I told Stephen that his proposal was honestly really disrespectful and seriously kind of messed up, to which he told me I was being an insensitive AH and should be supportive as his friend rather that talking down on him, but I don’t know if I’m wrong here.

AITA for calling my friend’s proposal disrespectful?”

Here’s what Reddit users said about this.

One person said he’s NTA and that his friend’s behavior WAS disrespectful.

And this Reddit user agreed and said public proposals are manipulative.

Another individual also said he’s NTA and he only did what friends are supposed to do.

While they were probably out of line in this case to ask their friend’s GF, they were also trying to help a friend.

This is a tricky one for sure!