‘She insists it’s a rite of passage for girls.’ His Wife Encouraged Their Daughter To Expect Everything Paid For In Her Relationship

The times are a changin’, my friends…

But that doesn’t mean that everyone is down with it!

A dispute over the roles of males and females in relationships led one father to share his story on Reddit so readers could weigh in on whether he was out of line for what he said to his wife when it comes to their daughter.

He started by saying that they have a teenage daughter who’s had a boyfriend for a little while.

Wife and I have been married 18 years, we have our 16 year old daughter who has been dating a slightly shy/ awkward young man for around 3-4 months now.

He seems very nervous around my daughter and has admitted in a passing comment here and there to my wife and I that he can’t believe she agreed to date him and he thinks she’s way out of his league. He seems very respectful, just shy.

My wife is usually an independent, awesome woman and her ideals align closely with mine particularly in term of feminism and equality. We have both striven to raise our daughter to be as independent and capable as possible.

He said his wife has surprised him with some of her opinions and views.

Since my daughter has been dating this kid my wife has changed considerably and has given our daughter advice that has left me with raised brows more than once.

Some of the advice I’ve heard my wife give is ‘oh it’s cute for boys to pay for everything, especially in your first relationship!’ Or ‘oh honey don’t worry about that, he can pay for you, if he really liked you he would’ and similar.

He’s tried to set the record straight but it hasn’t worked out very well.

I’ve tried to balance this out by telling my daughter straight away ‘two people in a partnership should be contributing equally’ and my personal favorite ‘if someone asks if they can take you out to dinner, it’s reasonable to expect them to pay, but if someone asks you to grab dinner with them, it’s reasonable to split the payment’. I figured that would be an easy way for a young person to understand the difference.

However I’ve noticed my daughter becoming more and more entitled with her boyfriends money. They haven’t been anywhere obviously since we’re home but the way she talks about him ‘oh I’ll just ask him to pay for x’ etc leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

She has also flippantly bragged/ mentioned that she gets him to buy gift cards for her etc by mentioning her mother’s advice, i.e. ‘if you really liked me you’d pay for x’

He thought it would be a good idea to bring it up with his wife…but it didn’t go over very well…

I spoke to my wife privately and told her my concerns, she insists it’s a rite of passage for girls and it’s cute that she should feel a guy is completely spoiling her.

I told her that it’s not cute for her to be thinking it’s acceptable to view relationships as personal ATMS, and my wife became very angry with me and is now calling me a jerk with a lot of hostility.”

And here’s what people had to say.

One reader said he’s NTA…but his wife sure is.

This individual talked about how they did it.

One reader had a bright idea…

This Reddit user said he’s NTA said his daughter needs to be taught a lesson.

And this reader said his wife sounds like a MONSTER.

I guess everyone raises their kids in different ways…

And that can lead to some conflict between married folks!