Oldest Siblings Share How Being The First-Born Kid Affected Them

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Finally: “I’m the oldest of seven children. I was definitely pushed into a parental role at a young age and was subjected to several traumatic experiences throughout my childhood. Because of that, I was shamed and ignored by my parents, which in turn caused me to develop a strong relationship with my siblings. I was seen as the maternal figure, and I wasn’t allowed to break down or make mistakes since all of my siblings were relying on me to ‘set a good example.’ This set me up for a lifetime of perfectionism and one-sided relationships. I would seek out partners who needed ‘mothering’ because that was the only way I knew how to show affection. Whenever I made mistakes or was close to burning out, I would spiral down into a dark place and lash out.”

“When I had my son, people said that I was finally a mom with an actual baby instead of just a mom. To this day, I still have trouble relying on other adults in my life, because adults were never reliable for me. I’ve worked really hard to set boundaries with my mother, but I will always crave the support of the maternal figure I never received as a child.”

—Anonymous