Mom Won’t Let Stepson Hold New Baby, Dad Puts Foot Down

I think we can all agree that when it comes to newborn babies, the new parents should get the final say on all things related to said baby — what to feed them, when to introduce them to new people, and who is allowed to hold them. After all, there’s always that one cousin’s cousin that feels a little too entitled to your new bundle of joy. But what about when the parents can’t agree?

That’s exactly the dilemma that Reddit user FairIsFair1, who we’ll call Fair, has found himself in. In a post on the “Am I the A——” subreddit, Fair wanted to know if he was being, well, fair to his wife, who is a new mother.

When Fair and his wife brought the baby home, he wanted his 14-year-old son — who is his wife’s stepson — to be able to hold his new brother. Unfortunately, though, Fair’s wife expressed that she was uncomfortable with anyone but herself and Fair holding the newborn. Seems reasonable, right?

Well, Fair agreed: “I wasn’t happy about this, but I respect that, as a mom, she’s anxious about how vulnerable our baby is. So, I let it go.”

However, the issue came about a few days later when his wife’s sister came over for a visit. As one would expect when a brand new squishy sweetheart enters the family, Fair’s sister-in-law was eager to hold the baby. Who wouldn’t be?

When she asked, Fair relayed the rules from before: “I said no, that my wife and I aren’t comfortable with anyone but us holding him yet.”

“My wife then said it was fine, that her sister was a special case,” shared Fair. We all see where this is going, right?

“I said no, that I wasn’t comfortable with it. Her sister was offended and left,” he continued.

So, now Fair’s wife is angry at him for upsetting her sister, and Fair is frustrated because he feels he was just “being consistent.” What a predicament.

As you can imagine, Redditors in Fair’s comments are full of opinions, ranging from exasperation on his behalf to sympathy for his son and more.

“Thank you for standing up for your son. He is 14, not a toddler. The day prior she was not comfortable, but now it’s fine for her sister?” one user said, pointing out what some are deeming blatant hypocrisy.

Many were focused on the fact that Fair’s son was, indeed, his wife’s stepson, implying that there could be some sort of unfortunate bias against him in that regard.

“Does your wife have something against your son? Seems like her not wanting him to hold the baby was personal,” one person asked.

“What was the reasoning given that her sister was ‘a special case,’ and your son, who needs to bond with his new sibling, is not?” another asked. “I’m presuming by unattractive inference about her … that your wife is NOT your son’s mother.”

Further comments, including one spirited examination from a user called Sorry_I_Guess, agreed that it was “disgusting and hateful” of Fair’s wife to disallow her stepson from holding her new baby: “There is NO good reason for a mother who does not have [post-partum depression/anxiety], and clearly she doesn’t if she’s not nervous about others holding her child, to keep an older sibling … from bonding with their new sibling.”

Throughout the responses on Fair’s post, the general consensus seems to be that he is decidedly Not the A——, and that his wife has some serious introspection to do.