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America vs. Everybody

It was funny, frankly, to watch everyone trip over themselves last weekend in proclaiming that they would NOT be celebrating Independence Day this year, as they had apparently just RECENTLY DISCOVERED that this allegedly greatest country on Earth, in fact, sucks mucho.

What did it, I wonder? Was it the reversal of Roe v. Wade, which now makes it that much harder to get an abortion? Or maybe it was all the gun violence, the countless deaths, tallying up to more than 300 mass shootings in this stupid country this year alone. Perhaps most depressing is the total ineptitude of the Democratic Party, which has not yet successfully codified Roe, or expanded the Supreme Court, or ended the filibuster, or done anything other than put their thumbs up their asses and mutter about the importance of getting registered to vote in the midterms this fall. It doesn’t matter how many ice cream cones Joe Biden folksily eats — everything is depressing.

I don’t know what to do anymore. All I’m certain about is that living in the US often feels like being a bug burrowed in the fur of a large, cruel beast that has been spending the last few hundred years bucking and gnashing and trying to kill us while we hang on for dear life. I moved here four years ago from Canada, and increasingly, I have less and less of a good answer for my mother when she asks why I came here in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I hate Canada. But there’s something uniquely devastating about living in a place as arrogant and yet horrific as the US. Just imagine me as Homer Simpson, screaming “It’s still good! It’s still good!” as the pig I was going to barbecue floats down the river.

Which, I guess, brings us back to the 4th of July. Until recently, it seems, everyone was happy spending the holiday setting off their little sparklers and making their awful flag cakes. But that was when things were merely catastrophically upsetting. Now, they are unavoidably macabre.

That said, my friend is visiting from Toronto right now. As I wrote this, he scrolled through my Seamless account, marveling at the sheer abundance of fast food options ready to hurtle to my door in 22 minutes, hot and cheap. “Greatest country in the world,” he muttered to himself. If only he knew.

Winner in spirit: No one.

Winner in actuality: No one. No one! God, we’re fucked. —Scaachi Koul

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