Interracial Couples Open Up On How Their Families Reacted To Their Partners

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“I am white; my boyfriend is Puerto Rican. He’s only met my mom and grandmother so far. My grandmother doesn’t say stuff to someone’s face if she doesn’t know them well but can be brutal. I was worried she’d say something, but she didn’t, thankfully (that I know of anyway). My mom claims not to be racist but, well, is. She was nice when she met him. Then, on New Year’s Eve, I was going to his grandparents’ house, and my mom saw my outfit. I wore blue skinny jeans and a black crop top with red heels. I felt pretty and cleared the outfit with my boyfriend since I wasn’t completely comfortable around his extended family yet and wanted to be respectful. She asked me if his family would approve, and I told her that his aunt wears stuff like this all of time. She scoffed and said, ‘Most Hispanics are like that, so I guess it’s fine.’ I was furious with her. Now, my mom finally accepts the relationship and is happy that I am happy.”

“She refuses to let me speak Spanish around her or even to my dog, though. I want to become fluent, and my boyfriend and I speak Spanish together so I can practice. There are lots of microaggressions. My mom was briefly married to a Black man, and lots of my family were straight-up mad. I’m very nervous for my boyfriend to meet that part of my family (plus, he goes against gender norms in many ways, but that’s a different post).  

My cousin is getting married in March, and my boyfriend is coming with me and my mom. I’m very nervous for him to meet everyone. The family I am close to isn’t racist, but the rest of my family is. For instance, one of my cousins married a biracial woman, and they have three beautiful boys. Our uncle hated her for the longest time and referred to her by the n-word behind her back. 

It was different when I met his family. The only issue with us being interracial is the language barrier. Again, I’m learning Spanish, but it’s very poor right now. His family loves me, and they love teaching me their language and culture. Honestly, his family just treats me as another relative. I love being with his family.” 

—H, Florida