That means we’ve been treated to a TMZ report of the couple’s messy makeout at a gay club in Los Angeles, and Instagrams of Chrishell showing off a persona she invented, “Chaz Malone,” inspired by G Flip and Lauren Sanderson: in sunglasses, a backward hat, and a leather jacket, Chrishell flicks her tongue out of her mouth and makes a “come on” gesture at the camera. The queer fuccbois have taught her well, and it is frightening.
During the reunion, we’re shown a few mind-melting moments from G Flip’s forthcoming music video for their single, “Get Me Outta Here,” premiering later this week on May 13. The two first met when mutual acquaintances suggested Chrishell could be a fit for the video, and on set they fell in lust. The song makes me feel unbearably old — every time I listen to it all I can think is, “this is just noise!!” — and the music video perhaps even more so. (Though I have to admit that Gay 4 Me, G Flip’s collab with Lauren Sanderson, is kind of a bop.) The released clip reveals Chrishell as an early-aughts video vixen, with crimped hair, a key necklace, and a tight black tube top; she pouts for the camera while singing along to the words in a convenience store. G Flip, in typical form, wears a black mesh tee over a sports bra, black sunglasses, and a trucker hat, and they’re constantly flipping off the camera, baring their teeth and sticking their tongue out. In the convenience store, the two push each other up against shelves of chips and make out aggressively. It looks terrible and sounds even worse, but the awful spectacle of it all is mesmerizing.
The best part of the reunion by far was watching Maya Vander’s completely baffled expression as she reacted to the news that Chrishell is dating this particular person, of all people; it instantly became a meme. From someone else, and in a different context, Maya’s open-mouthed confusion might have come across as anti-gay, but knowing what we do about Maya — the most down-to-earth of the bunch, someone who wears her plain business-formal LBD to the office and the reunion alike — it comes across as genuine astonishment without real malice. “I’m still processing everything,” she says when reunion host Tan France asks her why she looks so shocked. “I’m happy for you. Whatever makes people happy, it doesn’t matter.” Maya explains that upon hearing G Flip uses they/them pronouns, she wasn’t sure what to expect. “I was just like, ‘Wait, what?’” She then adds that she knows Chrishell wants to be a mom, and she hopes G Flip “is in the same boat or whatever.” It’s an absolutely hilarious moment. Surely most of the people on that couch, as well as those of us watching at home, were also thinking “??????” This relationship is a head-scratcher not just or even mostly because G Flip is nonbinary — they’re also 27, and Australian, and they dress that way, and they sound like that, and their name is G Flip.
Chrishell knows this and got in on the joke when she posted the meme of Maya’s face to Instagram over the weekend, adding “me realizing how many people didn’t know you could adopt children on your own,” and assuring fans that she and Maya have laughed over the moment and remain friends. In the caption, she writes, “I know a lot of you are confused. But what is important is I am not.”
And you know what: True! Generations of queer activists have fought for a world in which Chrishell Stause, who was once engaged to Glee star Matthew Morrison, can have a whirlwind rebound romance with a queer Australian rock star who wears trucker hats that say “horny” on them. This relationship is all but assured to last a cool six to ten weeks before Chrishell and Jason try to make it work again for the sake of the reality show that’s made them both unspeakably famous, but for now, we can enjoy footage of Chrishell giving G Flip tattoos and try to ignore the way this show perpetuates harmful body standards. Love is love!!!!!! ●