Father Asks Oldest Kid To Be Nicer To Half Siblings So New Wife Will Treat Them Like Her Kids. He Says ‘Not My Job.’

Family can be messy.

And when kids are in the equation, heart-strings are always being tugged.

This is a story about half-siblings, obligations, and mis-placed guilt.

My parents divorced when I (17m) was 5. I’m not sure on why.

Part of me has always figured dad cheated on mom because he was with someone suspiciously fast afterward, like that same month fast, but my mom never spoke about it.

She just told me both she and dad loved me and that would never change and I would never have to choose between my parents.

OP explains the messy parental and sibling relationship that unfolded through the years.

My dad was in two live-in relationships post divorce.

When I was 7 he was with “Jen” and had Luna (9) with her and then when I was 10 he was with “Bree” and had Harry (7) with her.

Jen and Bree both stopped being moms to their kids and so my dad became a single full time parent to my half siblings.

His dad, expectedly, is looking for some help! But trying to pull his first wife into it?

From that point onward my dad has tried to convince mom she could step up and at least fill some kind of female role model relationship with them.

He also corrects me on the half siblings term and says we are just siblings and if I were to call them just my siblings, it might soften mom’s heart to being a female or maternal figure for them.

He would ask mom on my behalf to let me have my half siblings over to her house during her custody time (my parents share equal time with me). He would claim I really missed my half siblings when I was gone and he would claim I wanted to spend every holiday with them, etc.

Sounds like his dad is putting words in his mouth, trying to create a reality that isn’t there.

None of this is true. I never said those things or implied them.

Luna is having a really hard time having no female family members. She has a dad, two half brothers and an uncle. So dad has been more forceful about mom’s part in all of this lately and now he is trying to rope me in more.

Then the dad drops the guilt on him.

He sat me down recently and told me my half siblings deserve to have moms and I could help them with that, I could share my mom and let them feel the love they deserve to feel.

He said I have always treated them like lesser siblings. First with always using half and then with not trying to include them in my life at my mom’s house.

He told me this is where my role as big brother needs to really take off.

OP then rightfully stands up for himself.

In response I told him it’s not my job and has never been my job to provide my half siblings with a mom. I told him it was on him and their actual mom’s to do that.

And I told him it was sick how he kept trying to rope my mom in. I told him to accept that he only had one kid with mom and she was only obligated to care for me.

But his dad wasn’t hearing it. And he further dug his first son into a hole.

His answer to that was I was disappointing him with both my response and lack of concern for the overall wellbeing of my half siblings and he told me to do better, be better and care more about my innocent little siblings.

I told my mom about it and she tore dad a new one for putting this on me.

She told me I am not wrong in what I said to him. But my uncle also said I could have more compassion for my innocent half siblings.

AITA?

What a seriously tough situation to find yourself in at 17 years old.

And it sounds like the dad is at his wits end, with no motherly help nearby.

Let’s see what folks think.

One Redditor clearly sees the manipulation going on.

This person’s possibly seeing multiple levels deep here.

Another commenter suggests it might be time to get out of the situation.

While another leaves us with a poignant question.

What a rough spot to be in.

Maybe time to get out of there?

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.