Expert Advice & Coping Strategies

One key point to keep in mind when dealing with an emotionally unhealthy parent: “Recognize that the only person you can change is you,” Streep said. On that note, our experts offer some advice on how you can deal with a toxic parent. 

Set boundaries.

Reflect on what you want these boundaries to be and then communicate them clearly to your parent. It’s not easy to do, but it will become more comfortable over time, Carino said. 

“It can be helpful to discuss [boundaries] during a time when you both are calm and removed from the situation being addressed,” she added. “Being firm and consistent is an essential part of maintaining boundaries.”

Limit contact with your parent, if necessary.

If your boundaries aren’t respected, consider lessening contact with your parent. That might mean communicating only via email or short phone calls for the time being. 

“Parents don’t suddenly change and become nontoxic,” psychologist Chivonna Childs told the Cleveland Clinic. “You may have to distance yourself from them to heal, and that can be a hard pill to swallow.”

Know that your parent’s negative reactions aren’t a sign you did something wrong. 

“People sometimes attack, criticize, and ignore not because we’re doing something wrong, but because they’re upset that we’re doing something right,” Malkin said.  

A lot of parental toxicity stems from narcissistic traits, he noted. Narcissists are so driven to feel special that they envy other people’s talents and insights. 

“[This] means they’ll attack ignore or dismiss no matter how great a job you do,” Malkin said. “In fact, they’re more likely to undermine your successes.”

Talk to a therapist. 

The best strategy to navigate this tricky terrain, Streep said, is to work with a gifted therapist. 

Carino underscored the importance of getting counseling to find healthy ways to deal with a toxic parent. 

“Family of origin work as an adult can not only help you with your relationship with your parents, but help you understand certain patterns that you play out in your romantic relationships and friendships because of dynamics from your childhood,” she said.

Do you deal with a toxic parent as an adult and have any tips? Let us know in the comments.

This article originally appeared on HuffPost.