Does Not Wanting To Babysit Make Grandma A Jerk?

There’s been a lot written recently about how the Boomer generation isn’t really interested in giving up “their time” to babysit the grandkids they so badly wanted – even though their parents were there for them when they needed the break.

It’s easy to get annoyed as a parent who would like a night off, but what about from the other perspective?

This woman has spent 21 years raising her son, who has now met a girl and fallen in love with her. They’re living together with the baby girl she just gave birth to (not by the son), which OP is supportive of even if she clearly wishes things were different.

OP says the girlfriend has a good job and isn’t asking her son for financial help.

My 21 year old son moved out of my house almost 6 weeks ago. He met a nice young lady a month ago. She was 9 months pregnant when they met. She had her baby, beautiful little girl, and I am happy for them.

I think it’s kinda weird, but it’s not my life and my son is “in love”. Fine. Whatever makes him happy. Hes not financially responsible for the baby and the girl is fine with that. He is there for emotional support.

She has a good job.

Her parents are babysitting a few days a week and recently, the girlfriend asked OP if she would be willing to do the same so the baby wouldn’t have to go to daycare.

Here’s where it gets tricky and I feel kinda bad. She text me today saying she is going back to work soon and needs a babysitter. Her mom can watch the baby some days, but not all. She wanted to know if I can watch the baby some days from 2-10 pm.

I said no.

OP refused, saying that even though she had offered to babysit she only meant occasionally, not on a regular basis.

Now she’s feeling like she might be a jerk for not wanting to be more involved, but she’s been looking forward to doing her own thing for awhile now.

I did say a couple weeks ago I would watch the baby sometimes if they wanted to grab a bite to eat or something. I am just learning how to live again.

My life has been all about my son for 21 years. I was a single mom. I have plans. I don’t want any major responsibilities right now and honestly the baby isn’t really my grandchild even though they tell me I’m her grandma.

She hasn’t text me back, and now I’m feeling bad. My son called and pointed out that I said I would watch the baby. I told him I said for a couple hours here and there…. I guess I should have been more specific.

Am I the a$$hole?

Reddit is going to weigh in, so let’s see whose side they’re on this time!

Lots of folks agree with this top comment, which says they think the girlfriend’s behavior prior was “weird.”

While this person adds that she’s also not taking a whole lot of care with her daughter, since OP and her son are virtual strangers.

Others, like this commenter with some personal experience, say you can’t always decide when you’re going to fall in love or with who.

Sometimes you just know, even if it’s weird to other people.

And commenters like this one step up to defend the girlfriend, who even by OP’s own admission has done nothing wrong.

Wow, these comments really show how jaded people are on Reddit, don’t you think?

I think it’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt!