Does Being Married Mean Your Spouse Needs To Support Your Parents?

Money is a touchy subject in most relationships, and everyone decides differently how to handle it.

While some people choose to pool their money in joint accounts and pay their obligations accordingly, others prefer to keep things separate for a variety of reasons.

OP makes significantly less than his wife and they live according to her means, splitting the expenses at the same percentage they earn. Her family is more well-off than his, and his wife has helped his family out here and there.

My wife has a high-paying job and earns significantly more than I do. I work as a teacher and make around 40k, while she works in the private sector and makes £300-400k after tax.

We split our finances equitably, with her paying 70% to my 30%. A little background her parents both immigrated to this country so she and her sisters could succeed in life, and now all have very high-paying jobs, one working in tech and the other being a surgeon.

Meanwhile, my parents worked government jobs, and my sister lives on benefits, so we are a relatively low-income family. My wife did help my younger sister when she became a single mother at a young age by offering her a secretary job at her office, but my sister quit after a month as she found it too difficult. (which I can understand as she was raising a baby on her own).

Now, she is able to help her parents out during retirement. His parents are in need of assistance, too, especially because of his father’s health issues, but she doesn’t want to offer any of her money to assist him.

Recently, her parents retired, and she and her sister give them around £2000 every month, which I find ridiculous they have pensions; why do they need £6k? She assured me this money does not come out of our joint account.

However, when I bought up, my parents were also retired and could use the help. She told me that if I could afford to send it from my own salary, I should. I was shocked and angry; my parents only had me to depend on while her sisters made a lot of money, so her parents would be fine either way.

My Dad has parkinsons his condition is only going to get worse. My mum isn’t strong enough to help with his diaper etc. The only option is to put him in a care home and separate the two of them because we can’t afford a live in career.

This is frustrating to me as my wife knows all this and her parents are great health currently. Her offering money would no way break her bank but would help my parents a lot. I just think she is being selfish because if the roles were reversed I would help her.

My wife told her her parents sacrificed a lot by moving to this country; it is her responsibility, and my parents should be my responsibility.

She says I am being an a$$hole for asking her to support my parents when she has never put pressure towards me for not contributing more to our household.

OP thinks she should be more giving and empathetic, but does Reddit agree?

The top commenter thinks OP sounds awfully entitled.

This person did not miss the point that the sister passed on a whole job.

A few people thought his wife would be better off without him.

They say marriage vows are for each other, not each other’s families.

Everyone is much more sympathetic toward the wife than OP.

Marriage is wild, y’all.

I hope these two can take off their perspective lenses and think more about each other.