All of my friends have kids. I’ve been to more Bluey, Blippi, and whoever the hell else-y themed birthday parties than I can count. As much as I love being an aunt who gets to celebrate all the fun moments — I also love leaving those events and going home to sweet, sweet silence.
Whenever I start to ponder my choice of being child-free, I’ll get a 3 a.m. text from a mom friend that says something like, “My kid just had a diarrhea explosion all over the Christmas tree,” and I think, “Definitely not for me!” Choosing to be child-free doesn’t mean I hate kids, but I definitely lack even a sliver of the patience it takes to thoughtfully handle the chaos that comes with having them.
Here are 18 pictures that show exactlyyy what I mean:
1.
Kids approach things that should be simple with SO much chaos — like this poor toothpaste that was twisted into oblivion:
2.
And these abused HDMI ports:
3.
These toilet paper rolls that were cruelly sacrificed to the bath time gods:
4.
The kid who had personal beef with Newton and his cradle:
5.
Yes, of course that’s permanent marker:
6.
If it’s not permanent marker — crayons always seem to be at the scene of the crime:
7.
And crayons definitely do NOT belong in the dishwasher:
8.
I bet this kid is still grounded for this:
9.
This washing machine leaks now because a kid took a bite out of it, and I wish I could hear the phone call the parent had to make to the warranty company:
10.
Biting things that have no business being bitten seems to be a real common problem:
11.
I know people say kids are expensive, but c’mon:
12.
If you have kids, you might open your pantry for a sweet treat and find empty hopes and dreams:
13.
This kid finished all the cookies and then tried to swindle their parent by replacing them with Cookie Crisps cereal:
14.
These parents honestly just have to move:
15.
This mom was NOT happy about their kid drawing on their designer bag (even though the bag seems pretty happy about it):
16.
This absolutely haunting note from school:
17.
And finally, a lot of these kids are just bein’ kids — but this one miiight be a demon:
Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/kelsiehammond1/child-free-photo-roundup