36 Terrible Ways People Were Dumped

24.

“There was the ex in college, pre-cellphone/social media days, who told me she loved me, then completely ghosted me. I never heard from her again. There was also an ex of four years who, about 12 years ago, while we lived together, decided I was cheating on her (I hadn’t and wasn’t) because her bitter friend fueled her insecurities. So, she came to my job, yelled at me, then, while I was working, changed the locks and had her friends put all of my stuff on the lawn in garbage bags. She followed it up by dumping our couples therapist and sobbing at me that I ‘made it public’ by making a Facebook post saying I was heartbroken and needed help moving my stuff.”

“Then, there’s the single mom ex who dumped me via text message at 7:46 a.m. by simply saying, ‘I believe we have irreconcilable differences and should part ways at this time.’ We’d never fought, and I found out later that she’d cheated on me and gotten pregnant, then married that dude four months later. She’d apparently dumped that guy for me with an identical text message. 

There’s also the girl next-door neighbor ex who basically lived with and off of me during the pandemic who dumped me on Christmas Eve morning by saying we should go to brunch, driving us about 20 miles away, and dumping me as we waited for the table. I had an ominous feeling, like a mob movie before a hit, and as we rode there, I kept asking if she was breaking up with me, and if so, could we just turn around. I’m a non-driver, and definitely didn’t want to stick around for food or the ride back to our neighboring addresses.”

—postl