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I later found out that other teachers who had also transferred from her previous location had refused to teach with her because she was ‘lazy’ and ‘careless.’ I would’ve preferred to just watch them all day and skip my breaks if that meant I knew they would be properly taken care of. But after a car accident where I ended up getting a concussion, I couldn’t handle any of it.
Over time I became more and more frustrated with management, the co-teacher, and unfortunately, my babies. I use to headbang to their crying, while tending to them mind you, but not getting frustrated and upset myself. I had a mental breakdown in which my manager found me in the middle of my classroom holding a baby crying, and staring at the wall.
She held the baby for a few minutes, but because we were so low-staffed, she had to give the baby back to me and leave to give other teachers their breaks. That whole day was a blur. I became so ashamed that I couldn’t give my students the education they needed and deserved.
I just felt defeated and after 10 months gave my two-week notice, although I came back for a week the month after to help while my former lead went away for vacation. After her return from maternity leave, she decided to leave as well after dealing with the same co-teacher and running into the same problems with management and her. Sometimes I cry thinking of the time with my students. I miss them so much and thought I had a real knack for childcare and infant care in particular. Now, I’m in retail hell.”