19 Wild Family Secrets

13.

“I received an email from the genetic testing site I used, notifying me a matched relative sent me a private message. The person identified herself as a fellow granddaughter of my maternal grandfather, with whom I was raised. Not only did I learn about my grandfather’s previous family, but also, he had two additional families.”

“The woman went on to reveal that my grandfather was a serial bigamist who abandoned his wives once they had kids. The law finally caught up with him and he served two years in state prison for bigamy. He married my grandmother soon after being released. My grandparents went on to have five children; they moved in my parent’s duplex the year I was born. 

Needless to say, this information was a shock for my family. We were told my grandfather was adopted and didn’t know his history. My mother’s family are all deceased raising questions that will never be answered. My family is contending with the reality of secrets, lies, scars, shame, and an ever-changing history of my maternal family’s past. 

The new cousin who contacted me is a wonderful woman. Her father (now deceased) was my mother’s half-brother. It was agonizing to her how her father’s family suffered after my grandfather abandoned them. Despite this, she assured me that both she, and her late father, harbor no ill will toward my grandfather. She provided me with information and documents about my grandfather in a non-judgmental manner. Mostly she was curious to know who her grandfather was. I provided her with the limited photos I had of my mother and the rest of the aunts and uncles she would not meet. When I received her family photos, I was struck by the family resemblance. I didn’t need a DNA test to confirm we are related: her father looked like my mother and her youngest brother. As for the other two families my grandfather abandoned, I know that someday I may get another email from a DNA match. Secrets are like zombies — they never really die.”

—Anonymous