4.
“Fighting as a couple. ‘Oh, it means we are passionate and love each other.’ Like The Notebook. No, it means you have shitty conflict resolution skills and need to work on it.”
“I’ve never yelled or had it escalate to fighting with my BF because we talk things out reasonably when things start going awry. We seek first to understand, then to be understood.
It was hard work. I came from a shouting household, and if you didn’t shout, you were weak. That was the message I absorbed. So when we disagreed the first time, I started shouting, and then he turned around out the door and went for a walk. I was puzzled, as that had never happened before.
When he came back, he explained that he never yells and fights, he learned to peacefully talk things out — which says a lot since he came from foster care and a lot of yelling. So I figured if he could do that I could. Then I realized I yelled because I felt powerless, and promised to work on that. Conflict resolution skills are one of the best things you can learn.”
—u/Immediate-Pool-4391
Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/ravenishak/things-that-no-longer-should-be-romanticized
