What’s Your Favorite Insult That Doesn’t Sound Like an Insult? Here’s What People Said.

Bless your heart…

I’ve lived in the South long enough at this point to know that when someone from down here says that to you, they’re actually insulting you in a roundabout way.

The more you know, right…?

What’s a good insult that doesn’t really sound like an insult?

Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.

“Customer service technique I use: the customer is ranting and yelling on the phone. I don’t say anything or try to interrupt.

Then when they pause and ask if I’m still there, I say “Yes, I was just waiting for you to finish.” Takes the wind out of their sails every. time.”

“I wish I had the confidence to wear that.”

And “That’s a nice top you’re wearing, does it come in your size?””

“You constantly find ways to surprise me.

Sounds very much like a compliment but can easily be an insult.”

“My personal favourite?

Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.”

“When I was in the military, whenever there was someone who was particularly bad at their job/always tried to do a job quick rather than right so they could be done with it, we’d call them “Turbo”.

They always loved it.”

“On a letter of recommendation: “I would gladly recommend this employee to another manager.””

“I once listened to a relative-in-law go off for quite a bit of time on some far-right conspiracy mongering tangent about all the “research” she’d been doing, which no one asked for.

After she finished and there was a pause I said, “well, the important thing is that you’re having a good time.””

“I got “You’re as smooth as your brain” once.

Was very conflicted.”

“In the South, “bless your heart.”

It can either mean “I’m so sorry for you” or “Well now, aren’t you special”.”

“I’m sure if you played tennis you would be good at it.

Meaning that you want to compliment them but have to make something up, because there is just nothing there.”

“When I was a hostess, i would get yelled at by customers because we had an hour wait and berated by them for not having room so as they would storm off in a huff, i would say:

“I hope you have a day as nice as you are.””

“A favorite of mine:

“I don’t care what they say about you, I think you are a great guy.””

“”I envy the people who haven’t met you”.

“There is a tree dedicated to replacing the air you take up, you should find it and apologize to it”.”

“Someone once hit me with “it’s cool how you don’t care about what people think about you”

And I was like “thanks!”

Then “wait a second…””

“You must have an impressive ability to navigate life with such unique choices.”

AND

“You have a talent for turning everyday situations into extraordinary challenges.”

So vicious. So funny.