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21.
“It ultimately led to our divorce. For me, it wasn’t a big deal, until it was… I had the ability to make more due to my career choice, and we both knew this when we got together in college, but it drove him crazy, I found out later. Also, note that we shared money 100%. He eventually started buying expensive toys without talking to me about it, even though we had a rule to always discuss purchases either of us made over a certain dollar threshold, and I always did. These became more and more extravagant, and I was made to feel like if I said anything about it, I was wrong, you know, because we had the money — only we didn’t. We hadn’t been able to afford a vacation in 10 years, except to visit some family a few hours away, and we couldn’t afford to make needed updates to our home, but he always had what he wanted.”
“It finally came to an end when ‘we,’ or so I thought ‘we,’ had been planning a big vacation, and he instead bought a bike without ever mentioning it. It just arrived at our house one day…and I was done.
In therapy, he shared how much he hated me making more money, and he even acknowledged that it didn’t make any sense because we shared everything, but he was raised to think he was failing as the head of the household because of this.”
—Anonymous, 47, Texas
Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/devinherenda/higher-earner-in-relationship
