‘My husband thinks I went too far.’ Is It Ever OK For A Parent To Kick Their Kid Out Of The House?

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When parents hold their kid in their arms for the first time, there’s gotta be a lot of thoughts about what this new person is going to grow to be. However, deep down, I believe we all recognize that life rarely grants us the flawless journey we yearn for our children.

The woman in this story is a mother to two older children, and endured a challenging upbringing herself. So she made a vow to both her kids and herself that they would never be left to fend for themselves without a place to call home.

However, what we promise ourselves and what life throws our way can be two very different things.

I’m 53F, son is 20M. Not trying to garner sympathy or anything here, but my life growing up wasn’t fun. Parents divorced when I was young, dad kicked me out when I was 18, I couch-surfed for years working a dead-end hotel job, and mom never did anything about it.

I promised I’d never put my own children through that. That they’d always be able to come home whenever they needed to.

But my son’s been going down a dangerous path over the past two years or so. It started with weed, which I didn’t really mind much. But it progressed into more… illegal substances. He’s often driving under the influence and even though his father and I have put him through various therapies and rehabs, he claims that he’s fine and it’s just for fun.

They aren’t working, because he won’t take them seriously and thinks there isn’t anything wrong with what he’s doing. He doesn’t get that his father and I are terrified of him potentially overdosing or ruining his life.

Well, it caught up to him and he was hit with a DUI charge last week. I told him he needed to get his act together or he would not be living here anymore. We’ve been more than generous with him and I hoped this whole situation would be the wake-up call he needed. He thought I was bluffing (he knows about my childhood and how I’d always said I’d never put my children through the same thing), but I was dead serious.

Last night I caught him in his room with more drugs I won’t specify here, but they were the harder stuff. I began packing up his stuff and told him he needed to find somewhere else to stay and would not be allowed back until he was clean.

He saw that I was serious, and said he’d go back to rehab for me, but I told him that every time he’d gone it didn’t do anything because he doesn’t think he has a problem.

He called me a b%*ch, so I told him to get out right now.

Obviously it pains me that I had to break my promise to my kids, and obviously my son hates me right now.

My husband thinks I went too far and we could’ve gotten him more help, but my daughter (16F) says that I did the right thing.

So I’m conflicted. I may have acted in the heat of the moment, so help me look at this with clearer eyes.