If you get an especially STRONG batch of coffee and you’re not used to it, your brain is going to soar off into outer space and you’ll feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.
Which can be cool, but also terrifying if you’re not prepared for it.
A Reddit user talked about what happened after they bought a brand-new coffee machine…
“I drink a lot of coffee. My mornings consist of two 300ml mugs of coffee, and I sometimes have a third after dinner later in the day.
They decided an upgrade was in order.
Recently, I got far too into James Hoffmann’s videos and decided to upgrade my bad drip coffee machine for a proper precision brewer. And when I say precision, I mean that this thing comes with a water testing strip so you can calibrate the machine for the mineral content in your water supply. Serious nerd stuff.
To justify the ludicrous amount of money I spent on what appears to be the Hadron Collider of coffee machines, I did some research on brewing ratios in order to maximise the allegedly life-changing potential of this equipment.
They tried out the new machine.
Now, coffee science says the ideal water-to-beans ratio for this brew method is about 60g of grounds per litre of water. Out of interest, I decided to prepare my usual ratio from the old machine and see how close I was.
It turns out, since I got the old machine just over a year ago, I’ve been brewing at about 20g/litre, resulting in what I now realise is pathetically weak brew.
And they were in a big surprise!
I prepared a proper 60g/L brew with the new machine, and the resulting coffee was on another planet. The flavours were so developed it was like I could taste the touch of the Colombian farmer who picked the beans. I drank my full morning dose of two 300ml mugs in just over an hour.
And then, I discovered an unexpected side effect.
The year of drinking weak brew has conditioned my body for weak coffee. And I had just drank over half a litre of coffee that was theoretically three times as strong as usual.
They were practically tripping!
It has now been an hour since I finished that first pot and I can hear the passage of time. A fly flew past me in slow motion. I made an omelette for lunch and I beat the egg so fast it turned into steam.
My heart no longer beats; it vibrates. And there is something unholy brewing in my lower intestine and I am fearing the wrath of God when it is released. Send help.”
Now it’s time to see what people said about this.
One person said this reminds them of a certain TV episode.
This individual worked with a real psycho!
Another individual shared a story from their barista days.
One reader shared their own story.
And this Reddit user talked about a big coffee mistake they made before.
Go easy on that stuff!
It can make your brain spin at a million miles an hour!
Source: https://twistedsifter.com/2023/12/they-tested-out-their-new-coffee-machine-and-got-a-massive-caffeinated-surprise-my-heart-no-longer-beats-it-vibrates/