Every human being is unique, and yet we seem to be hardwired to want to fit in with others. Sometimes, that longing for a sense of belonging can cause us to put too much stock in people’s opinions of us and lead us to change who are to please others.
One mom has taken that tendency to task in a viral video in which she uses fruit to teach her daughter a lesson in being herself. In a video shared on Facebook by the Chinese Embassy in the U.S., a Chinese mom and her daughter speak to the camera while using a dragon fruit, a banana, and two different colored peppers as props.
First, they over the difference between a fact and an opinion. “This is a dragon fruit,” is a fact. “A dragon fruit is tastier than a banana,” is an opinion. Simple enough.
“Similarly, if a kid tells you your drawing is not good or that your hairstyle doesn’t look nice, that’s just their opinion. It doesn’t mean it’s a fact,” the mom says. “We don’t need to feel sad or unhappy because of someone else’s opinion.”
Next, the mom holds up a green pepper and asks if her daughter likes it. After the girl says no, the mom asks if she’d like if she changed the green pepper to a yellow one. Again, no.
“So we shouldn’t change ourselves because of someone else’s preferences,” the mom says. “Just like you have people you like and don’t like.”
She finishes by asking her daughter what she’ll do in the future if a kid doesn’t like her or doesn’t want to play with her.
“I will find friends who like me, or friends I like, to play with,” the girl replies.
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It’s a simple analogy, but an effective one. Even adults need to be reminded sometimes that people’s opinions of us aren’t facts and shouldn’t be internalized as truths about ourselves.
“This is absolutely beautiful,” wrote one commenter. “A perfectly simple way to educate all people, not just children.”
“Everyone needs to do this with their child, wrote another. “This is a good parent teaching their child about the real world and social interactions. Someone’s opinion is just that. An opinion. No need to get upset, offended or angry about it. Take it as an opinion, the same or different from your own, and move on.”
“Agreed—and when you work on yourself it shouldn’t be for other people’s acceptance, but for yourself,” shared another.
Sometimes the simplest lessons are the ones we need to hear, whether we’re 9 or 49.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/mom-teaches-lesson-in-self-confidence-using-fruit