‘I’d rather be in debt than controlled for 4 more years.’ Woman Embarrasses Her Dad By Telling Their Family He’s Not Paying Her Tuition

College is a major expense. Most kids who have a parent willing to foot the bill feel relieved and lucky, but when that money comes with strings, sometimes people decide it’s just not worth it.

OP is one of those people, because all through high school, her father was extremely controlling when it came to expectations. This was especially true around her grades, and he’s made it clear that will continue to be the case if he is footing the bill for college, too.

My aunt and uncle are paying for my cousins college.

My dad had a college fund for me, but he had stipulations like he wanted nothing below a B for grades and to pre approve any classes I take, weekly meetings to discuss grades and a bunch of other stuff. Which would be fine if you have a normal dad. Mine isn’t.

My dad has a temper and I spent 6th-12th grade stressed out about grades and being screamed at or grounded over things that sometimes weren’t even my fault like a teacher not updating online grading and an assignment being marked “missing” because of it.

And getting my backpack and locker randomly searched by him for no reason besides “to make sure I’m not hiding anything “.

So, OP decided she’d rather have the loans.

I decided to pay for school myself because of 1 not being stressed over getting screamed at 2 I didn’t feel like constantly worrying that he’d disapprove of a class or a grade and decide not to pay. Which I could totally see him doing. I’d rather be in debt than controlled for 4 more years.

I just finished my first year.

The trouble arose when one of her uncles was asking her father how much her college tuition was, and OP spoke up saying they should ask her because she’s paying for it.

Well my family got together on the 4th and… well sometimes they’re nosey. They were talking about my cousins school and my uncle looked at my dad and said “well how much is – my name- school costing you?”

I said “what are you asking him for I’m the one paying for it?”

Her father claimed she “embarrassed” him by saying that, but OP feels like she was just telling the truth.

Later on my dad was angry and said that it was out of line to say that and I embarrassed him.

I didn’t do it to embarrass him, I was just being honest. He doesn’t even know how much tuition is so he was the wrong person to ask.

AITA

Does Reddit think she should have/could have handled it differently? I’m sure they’re going to let her know!

The top commenter wonders if OP should be in regular contact with her dad at all.

This person disagrees that OP should take it further.

They say it sounds like her dad has nothing left to bargain with now.

And this commenter says her dad should be embarrassed.

So many people just need validation after a life full of the opposite.

This girl has done the right thing, going into debt aside.

There’s no reason to let someone have that kind of control over you.