‘I was told I wasn’t allowed to apply for college.’ Daughter Doesn’t Want To Let Her Parents Back Into Her Life After They Treated Her Very Differently From Her Brothers

You might think that, in this day and age, people have let go of their ideas as far as gender roles and certain expectations for their kids based on them.

You would be wrong, unfortunately.

OP is the only girl of four children. She was raised to be a wife and mother while her brothers were raised to be the breadwinners.

I was raised by parents who believed (religiously and just culturally) in rigid gender roles.

Dad should work, mom should stay home with the kids. I’m the only girl and have 3 brothers.

Her parents paid for their college but refused to do the same for her; she paid for it herself and has been no/low contact for quite some time.

Because of their expectation I’d stay home with kids, they never valued my education, educational achievements or emphasized things beyond domestic skills. I’m the second youngest.

By the time I was in high school, my two older brothers had gone to the college of their choice, with my parents fully covering tuition, books, an off campus apartment and other living expenses.

They eventually did the same for my younger brother. I was told I wasn’t allowed to apply for college.

I did so in secret and got accepted with a partial scholarship. I didn’t tell them I was moving out until a week before I left, with essentially nothing but what a few friends gave to me that their parents bought “them” for college.

I took engineering, and had to work, take on debt and struggle.

My parents and I have barely spoken for years.

Now that she is married and about to be a mom, they want to reconcile. Even though the apologized, they refused to say what they were sorry for.

I’m married now and expecting our first child, and they asked to meet up.

We met at a park, and they said they were “sorry if they caused me pain” but would like a relationship now.

I asked them specifically what they were sorry for. They wouldn’t elaborate and just said they wanted to move forward. I said that wasn’t sufficient.

When OP told them if they were really sorry they could pay her back for her college education and they basically gave her the finger.

In the end, I said they could prove they were sorry by forwarding me the $100k my degree and college expenses were, just like they did for my brothers.

My mom burst into tears, my dad said I wasn’t being serious and I just left.

Her brothers’ think she should be more understanding, but OP really doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong.

Since then, I’ve been getting calls from my brothers telling me I’m being immature and hurtful.

I don’t think so at all.

Where does Reddit come down?

Let’s find out!

The top comment says that OP (and her baby) are better off without the lot of them.

Everyone thinks they’re just doing this now to have access to their grandkid.

And they probably expect her to have given up her dreams, too.

Even if money can’t really buy forgiveness.

Or it could be all about saving face with their friends.

I am so proud of this woman and I don’t even know her.

It takes serious strength to value you yourself like this.