‘I refused to help and she had a meltdown.’ Younger Sister Doesn’t Want To Be Forced To Use Her College Fund To Pay For Brother-In-Law’s Surgery

A lot of people have the idea that family is more important than anything else, but I’m guessing that those are the lucky people in this world who have great families.

Or at least, I hope they are, because if your family sucks you shouldn’t put them at the top of your list.

OP and her sister lost their father and only parent to illness when she wasn’t quite 18. Despite her being young and her sister being married and on her own, OP had to go and live with her aunt.

Context: My sister (F27) and I (18F) lost our dad a year ago. He was my only parent, mom was never in mine or my sister’s life. Dad left money (inheritance) for me and sister and she used her inhertance to get new cars and renovate her house.

I live with my aunt right now cause my brother inlaw didn’t let me stay with my sister. I’m planning on using my inhertance money to pay for college tuition (I’ve always wanted to be doctor but haven’t decided which branch yet).

The reason? Her brother-in-law wouldn’t allow her to move in with them. He’s sickly and apparently angry about it, making a majority of people rather not be around him or be willing to help him out because of his poor attitude.

My sister & I haven’t been close, it started after she got married to her chronically ill husband who was allowed to make backhanded comments about dad and mock his llness and make a scene at his funeral. only because he’s ill and shouldn’t be held accountable for his behavior.

He and her sister spent their portion of the inheritance on luxury items. Now that her brother-in-law needs life-saving surgery, they want OP to “lend” them the money.

I’ve distanced myself but my sister kept visiting alot lately venting about my brother inlaws condition. He’s been in & out the hospital for heart problems and in need for a surgery. She brought up my inheritance money several times but I end up cutting the conversation.

She then straight up asked if I could help pay for her husband’s surgery and she’d pay back in less than a year.

My aunt suggested others pay but most of them cut my sister and her husband off.

OP is worried they won’t pay her back in time (or at all) and that she won’t be able to afford college and medical school.

I felt uneasy cause if I give her money from my inheritance which is a large amount then there’s no gurantee she’ll pay back before It’s time to apply for college.

I’m taking a year gap but I know my sister can’t pay back that much and I felt I was risking my future.

Her sister is applying the pressure, making her feel like a terrible person and sister and aunt, but her good friend says they should sell some of their nice things to make the payment instead.

I refused to help and she had a melt down at my aunt’s house calling me heartless, cruel with no empathy.

She said that her husband’s health should be a priority and I needed to help because education is nothing compared to someone’s health and asked if I’d be happy to see her as a widow and my nephew with no father.

I argued that her husband’s poor health isn’t my fault after she kept blaming and guiltriping me. She kept crying.

She’s been sending texts and pictures of her family telling me this is what I was saying no to, a happy healthy family with a healthy husband and father. I cried and felt like I was being selfish not good aunt and sister.

I asked my friend and he said let them sell the cars and all the luxurious stuff they bought to afford the surgery and warned me if I give them money I’ll never get it back and may not be able to go to medical school.

Her aunt, though, is warning that keeping the money could cost her her sister.

Although my aunt decided to stay out of it she said that I should be prepared for permanent damage in my relationship with my sister if I don’t help her now.

What’s a girl to do? Reddit is gearing up to tell her!

The top comment says she should listen to her friend.

This person understands OP might have to choose but thinks the choice is clear.

They say her sister has already shown her who she is, and it ain’t family.

The BIL is just reaping what he has sown.

This commenter says shame on them.

I hate that they have put OP in this position.

To say it’s unfair would be an understatement.