‘I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this.’ She Has No Time For Herself, But Is She Selfish For Wanting Her Husband To Quit His Job?

Life can get super hard, sometimes when we’re not even paying attention. One day we look up and realize it’s been piling up for a while, and we panic that there’s no easy way out.

OP’s husband took a job he loves and that pays well, but it has left her at home alone with three young kids. She’s doing everything, all day, every day with no support or help and she is drowning.

A year ago my husband got a really great job. He loves it. It over doubled our income. The problem is he’s never here. It requires a lot of travel and he’s gone more of the month than he’s home.

We have three kids. 8, 6, 3. We have two dogs. I am run ragged. I don’t have any family to help me. I don’t have time for friends. It’s never ending.

Cleaning, kids, cooking, kids, dogs, dogs, school, kids, cleaning cleaning kids CLEANING COOKING CLEANING.

No time for me whatsoever.

She even had to quit a part time job she liked for one with better hours, which left her with no chance to socialize either.

Before my husband got this job we worked opposite schedules. I worked in a restaurant/bar in the evenings. Didnt pay great but a couple really good friends worked there with me. It was how I socialized. Now that he’s gone, I couldn’t work that job since nobody watches kids at night.

Now I work a part time retail job I hate with what are essentially children (in comparison to me). I don’t get to socialize like I used to. I only work the hours my kids are in school.

But we have after school activities, homework, dogs, dinner, never ending chores, etc. THERE IS NO TIME FOR ME. I don’t even get to sleep alone since my 6 year old has night terrors.

When my husband was here, things felt more divided. I still did a lot during the day, but it wasn’t never ending. There would still be days I didn’t have to worry about lunches or bath time or homework because my husband would pick up the slack. I could go out with friends from time to time.

Don’t even get me started on what it’s like when the kids get sick and then I inevitably get sick. It’s absolute misery and he’s not around to see it. I’m left drowning.

When she confronted him and said he needs to quit he blew up at her, saying that she wanted to take away his happiness and the opportunities for their family.

But he doesn’t want to quit. He loves his job and that’s fair. I can see he’s way happier now, but what about me? Don’t I matter?

I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this. I demanded for the sake of my sanity he quit his job, but he exploded. He thinks we’re doing better than ever.

We could get a bigger house soon (we live in 2 bedroom rancher but I like it). That the kids will have so many more opportunities, etc, and he’s not wrong, but what about me?!?!?! AITA?

She doesn’t want that, but she does think it’s time someone thought of her.

Does Reddit think she’s being selfish here? Let’s find out!

The top comment says that if they have more income, they should spend some of it on hired help.

This person wonders if OP shouldn’t check up on his accounts, for good reasons.

This commenter says life is way too short to waste like this.

They say they don’t know how she’s held it together this long.

Everyone feels pretty indignant on OP’s behalf.

Whew, people are big mad about this one.

I hope OP can use their confidence to request some real change.