Husband Gets The Family’s Food Order Wrong And Wife Gets Angry About His Lack Of Attention To Detail

There are a million ways to show someone you care about them, and only one way to say it – and sadly, some people think the latter is doing enough.

This mom had a busy day, with one of her boys needing a medical procedure. She asked her husband to order takeout for dinner, and from a place they have regularly ordered from over the past decade.

I’m 44F, husband is 44M, sons are 11 and 13.

11 had some medical procedures today and asked for takeout from one of his favorite restaurants.

I called my husband to ask him to order because I was driving.

For background we order from this place every month or so for over a decade.

We each get the same things every time. Husband and I order equally. He handles the food (cooking and takeout) about 75% of the time.

Still, he managed to mess up their younger son’s order, upsetting him.

Husband ordered and picked it up.

11 asked for his chicken and husband brings him a wing. 11 starts crying because he eats drumsticks, like every kid.

Husband only ordered a wing and thigh. 11 has always eaten the same pieces (drumstick and breast to be specific).

Husband got mad that I didn’t tell him exactly what to order. I said if you don’t know what your 11 year old eats then you don’t know him.

She tried explaining to him why this makes them feel bad, and even one of their kids said that he “always forgets the important things.”

A little bit later I told husband that I don’t want to fight but this is exactly what I’m talking about when I say he’s not considerate. That all 3 of us feel like he doesn’t care about us when he does this kind of stuff.

I told him that 13 said “dad always forgets the important stuff” when he found out why 11 was crying.

We all feel like he doesn’t care when he forgets basic stuff about us.

He argues that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, but now that she’s thinking about it…

He dismissed me saying that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I said we feel like you don’t care and you can’t tell us how to feel.

I’ve come to realize over the last year or so that my husband is inconsiderate, not just forgetful.

Other examples:

• He will eat the kids last of a food or snack and not ask if they want it.
• I had a leg injury this year (in a cast and walker) and he left things in the walkway, even after I pointed out there was stuff in my way and I can’t get around.
• He had to take care of 13’s birthday cake because of my injury and didn’t get candles. 13 was upset and husband got mad that no one appreciates that he got the cake.
• We’ve been together 23 years and he’s never gotten me a cake, let alone put candles in it. His birthday is 6 weeks before mine. I always get him a cake or special dessert, put candles in it and sing happy birthday.

So AITA for calling my husband inconsiderate over a minor thing like messing up a food order?

Let’s hear what Reddit has to say to her!

The top comment suggests they look into therapy, possibly for the whole family.

This person, who was one of the kids, says it’s not going to get better.

Several people suggest holding up a mirror.

This commenter calls it low level neglect.

This is heartbreaking to read.

Annoying to the other adult, but behavior that can be devastating to kids.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.