Emily In Paris Outfit Ranking

Let me start with the positives: That leather (hopefully faux) is beyond cute, and I could see the appeal of the purse as well. Now, the negatives: The dress itself, which is why this outfit makes the cut. What does Emily have against dresses and shirts that have no prints on them? Will we ever find out? Who’s to say?

This look is kinda cute! Honestly, I’m jealous of anyone who can pull off a beret. The checkered coat is to die for, but the fact that it has matching shorts is a little amusing. A thigh-high pencil skirt would work better, in my humble opinion.

Despite this, my 21-year-old self is not. This is not Emily’s worst fashion faux pas by a long shot, but there’s something about this look that’s so off in my mind. I can’t put my finger on it — is it the pattern itself, the in-your-face purple, the specific shape of the hot pink hat? I’m not sure, but it is deeply unsettling and giving me a headache.

I’ll give Emily some points here since this is definitely an outfit I would have worn if I had the confidence to back in 2015. The tank crop top is cute, but I might have paired it with a maxi skirt instead of traditional boot-cut jeans. Now that hat, is truly, truly, something else.

Floral print can be hit or miss, but this one’s not too bad! Unfortunately, Emily has a penchant for belts for some reason, so that’s one of the main reasons this fit makes the list. Her hot pink heels (not depicted here, obv) are killer, but maybe not the best choice for this outfit. Earlier on, she pairs the look with a casual black cropped windbreaker hoodie, and it’s definitely a clash of styles, but not her worst transgression by far.

We end Season 1 on this outfit — not the worst, but certainly not the best. The two tiny bags are whimsical, I’ll give her that. But the oversize lapel pin is confounding and hurting my eyes. Will Season 2 retire Emily’s penchant for berets? Probably not, but a girl can dream. 

I will preface this by once again reiterating that I love Emily’s jackets, but the multicolored sweater and pleated skirt combo is begging for Crayola to intervene. How dare she plagiarize them like this?! I can almost imagine what noise the skirt would make as she walks by. *Shudders*

Say it with me now: Let go of the negative thoughts, Emily. Let go of the floral print, Emily. Let go of any and all shades of pink, Emily. With this daily mantra, I do believe our protagonist can heal and find closure. Honestly, other colors exist! You just have to be looking for them!

Once again, I spoke too soon about Emily’s aptitude at picking coats. In no universe (multiverse or otherwise) should there exist a shoe-print overcoat. More specifically, this should not be paired with an entirely unrelated football print skirt. Don’t get me started on the bedazzled bowtie choker. I’m sick to my stomach and entirely inconsolable.

Honestly, I would wear all of these pieces separately, but TOGETHER?! The top is a fave, which is why this ensemble is so high on the list, but the criminal endeavor that is mashing all of these styles in one look…I hereby sentence Emily to fashion jail. The snakeprint skirt, the modern pop art heels, the classic bag — help.

This is the first business casual dress we see Emily in, while she’s still in Chicago. I’m not a huge fan of the print, but it’s whatever. Later on, she pairs it with a light pink overcoat, which helps distract from the print. However, it’s the first in a long line of monochromatic tones that Emily decides to wear together for reasons that are unknown (and painful) to me.

Personally, I’m very biased against fringe, so this is an automatic “no” from me. Polka dots died in 2011, and I believe we should let them rest in peace. The jacket is cute, but — once again — paired with a top that has a cartoon face and protruding polka dot bow is not…très chic.

Where to even begin with this monstrosity/atrocity/catastrophe of an outfit? I’m no expert, but I strongly feel that this ensemble violates every fashion law put in place in the history of ever. Let’s start with the shoelace choker and end with the pairing of a hot pink fanny bag with a multicolored lavender shawl and houndstooth skirt. I have a theory that this look is so awful that it could only be produced if Cher Horowitz’s virtual wardrobe customizer short-circuited and decided to take its revenge out on all of humanity. I need to go lie down.

I’m sorry to Emily’s grandmother, who likely stitched this out of the pure goodness of her heart, but it has got to go. For some casual, cozy night in, I could totally understand this (sort of), but this should have never — never — seen the light of day. I mean — c’mon! — tell me this doesn’t look like a Christmas tree vomited on Emily! Babes, do better!!!

One of the prints I’m begging Emily to let go of is houndstooth, particularly when combined with a finer line pattern of Roman statues (moving on). The pink denim jacket is a no-no, especially underneath a black-and-white satin varsity jacket. La plouc indeed.

No, because, what in the fresh hell is this (a statement, not a question). Let’s dissect: an iridescent emerald green faux leather (?) jacket that unintentionally (or maybe not) looks like it has shoulder pads. Also: a black and green (and purple and pink) cheetah print dress or skirt that’s sure to induce vertigo on anyone who catches a glance of it. If I were Sylvie (Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu), this would be grounds for immediate termination.

Trying to figure out what’s going on here is hurting my brain. According to the photo service I got this still image from, this outfit is featured in Season 1, Episode 4. But I think I would have remembered something that is this atrocious. The lace undershirt paired with the embroidered red hat paired with this statement “7” shirt…Emily, give me a break!

It’s giving Justice. It’s giving how I dressed my Bratz dolls when I was 9. It’s giving “Mom, no, I will wear this camouflage hot pink skirt with a turquoise jacket because I invented fashion” to the “Mom, why on Earth would you let me wear this in public” pipeline. I mean, honestly, where, oh wear (grammatical error and pun intended), to begin? If I look at this any longer, I will burst into tears.