One of the perks of being a dad is being gifted — from the second your first child is born — with a penchant for telling absolutely god-awful jokes.
If you hated puns before, you’ll love them now. Even if you’re part of that small population of fathers that still manages to have a disdain for wordplay, you’ll love “making fun” of dad jokes. Then, after telling them for a while, the dad joke-ness will take over you and your transition into an official dad joke-teller will be complete.
And although the ability to tell awful jokes will be sure to make your children roll their eyes for years to come, even the most skilled dad jokesters need a little inspiration from time to time. Keep these 50 in your back pocket whenever you have an opportunity to annoy your kids.
You like parrots?
Dogs that moonlight as magicians.
Good old neutral Switzerland.
Dinosaurs with a penchant for cars.
A pepper who can’t keep to themselves.
Ewww, sand, go take a shower.
This shark is so awesome.
Mummies love rocking out, you didn’t know that?
The numbers, they’re a multiplyin’!
The expecting insect.
Not a dog pile, but a cat pile.
Flowers are very good at arithmetic.
OK, elves and gnomes are technically different species, but…
A little communion joke for ya’ll.
This is an essential dad joke setup and punchline format.
Good for taking control of your own happiness, Humpty.
This tomato’s so coy.
Cheese property rights are very important.
An appliance and beach joke all rolled into one.
Literal jokes are essential dad joke fare.
Especially when their mama or dada are all the way up on the moon.
Technically fans just circulate the same air, but still.
I always imagined Batman as more of a rugby guy.
Bet you didn’t see this one coming.
This is a ruff one.
A little science joke for ya’ll.
Awww the ocean is so nice.
A little moon joke for you.
A high carbohydrate joke.
Apples to apples.
Rock and scissors should get on this one.
Wood you like to hear a joke about beavers?
A little joke to go with your morning coffee.
Waddle waddle waddle waddle flap flap flap.
Dads, keep this one in your back pocket.
Looks like he’ll have to get another Juan.
Another one for dad to keep on the back-burner.
A little farm humor for you.
Guaranteed to get an eye-roll.
Elephants never forget a terrible joke.
Any contractor dads in the house?
The Tour de France of corny jokes.
What a grape joke.
A little bar humor.
Kickin’ it with awful jokes.
Gymnasts will just love you if you use this one.
You’ll be a real heel if you tell this joke.
This joke is Huffman Koos approved.
This is a wholesome one.