Beliefs From Parents That People Now Disregard

28.

“Respectability politics. My parents were a product of their time. While they taught me to love my kinky hair and dark skin as an African American, they discouraged certain aspects of our culture that they saw as a hindrance to being respected in mainstream society. They emphasized speaking ‘proper English’ and thought AAVE was ignorant. They taught me not to talk loudly and thought Black communities would garner more respect if the boys didn’t sag their pants and the girls didn’t have brightly colored hair and long nails. To be fair, they grew up in the ’60s and ’70s, following leaders like Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, who, rightfully at the time, emphasized looking put together, ‘sounding intelligent,’ and being disciplined as a way to highlight how despicable the physical and societal violence was against Black people.”

“We had to PROVE that we were dignified (and therefore worthy of respect) by assimilating to whiteness. Today, the social and political dialogue in the US has progressed in a way that allows my generation to celebrate our cultural differences from mainstream, white society. We can accept our culture for what it is — creativity and adaptiveness that are part of out heritage and legacy as African Americans. I have a master’s degree, am bilingual, have traveled the world, and have a professional job in my chosen field, AND it’s OK for me to blast hip-hop music and rock bright red hair extensions and blinged out fake nails. Young adults today are allowed to acknowledge the fact that people deserve respect simply because they are human.”

—Anonymous, 29, Los Angeles, CA, US