Occasionally, the thing the patient says makes sense, but they don’t provide enough context and end up totally freaking out the nurses. CelestialTyrant was getting a colonoscopy, and when the nurse removed the IV, he said, “Oh that’s neat. I’ve taken a lot of those out, but I’ve never had it done to me, and my patients are always dead.”

What he neglected to mention was that he was a funeral director, and often hospitals don’t remove tubing after a patient has died. Then, he told that same, poor nurse that she had a nice butt, but that it wasn’t as nice as his wife’s. That one’s kind of sweet. Still feel bad for that nurse and her mediocre butt, though.