19.
“Over the last 12 years, I have seen four different therapists (three white women, one white man). They were all nice people, but it never felt helpful, and they mostly stared at me. I was sometimes assigned self-help books and workbooks which made my voice feel stifled. I wanted to talk about my frustrations. I was encouraged to do community service by one (the white man). That would be great advice for a white man, but Black women are already inundated with service to others. We don’t receive it in return. This dynamic breeds bitterness and resentment.
Advising me to seek more people to serve made me feel like we were on different planets. Being told that I just needed to be optimistic and patient when I was frustrated about the racism and colorism I experienced while trying to date felt infuriating. The person in front of me who never had to seriously consider the fact that she was too dark-skinned to marry, have children, or even date, couldn’t understand that my experience wasn’t just in my head. It is common and statistically relevant.
I also struggle with what to say in sessions, and I generally felt more stressed after sessions. Every therapist that I saw relied on cognitive behavioral therapy, and it seemed to be what they were most comfortable with, but it felt like gaslighting. It made my voice feel silenced, and it made me feel invisible. My experiences with racism in the workplace were trivialized. My anxiousness about my options for how to live felt even more limiting. In all, my experiences with therapy have left me feeling certain that traditional talk therapy isn’t for everyone. I don’t have a clue what people mean when they say therapy was so helpful or eye-opening for them.”
—Anonymous, 39, Illinois, USA
Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mayaogolini/people-share-why-they-dumped-their-therapist
