26 Honest Parenting Regrets Parents Have

14.

“Not taking my mental health seriously. I had severe depression during my pregnancy, and my OB started me on meds and connected me to an amazing therapist. My daughter was born in March 2020, right when lockdowns started. We were completely isolated. That amazing therapist took another job. I was heartbroken and didn’t try to find a new therapist. Big mistake. My symptoms got worse, peripartum turned to postpartum, my medications were no longer effective, and new medications were limited by breastfeeding (another choice I was adamant about at the time). I self-medicated with alcohol, which spiraled out of control for six months.”

“My husband felt helpless and didn’t know where to turn. I finally took myself to the ER after writing a suicide note to my husband and nearly intentionally crashing my car (with our daughter in it). After three weeks in psych, missing my daughter’s first Christmas, and months of outpatient therapy, I began to get the help I desperately needed. We switched to formula so I could put ME and my mental health first. There is no shame in putting your mental health first and using the formula that works for your child. Depression stole my daughter’s first months from me, and I let it but not getting the help I needed. Three years, an amazing therapist, diagnoses, medication, therapy, and quitting drinking later, I’m slowly coming back online. It was a terrible struggle for a long time. My husband had my therapist’s number when things got rough, and I refused to do anything.

My recommendation for anyone about to have a child: GET A THERAPIST. Give your partner their contact for when they need help supporting you. Don’t be afraid to tell your therapist what you’re thinking and feeling, no matter how scary. It takes a lot to get involuntarily committed. The hospital is for people to get better; you wouldn’t delay going to the ER for a broken bone, your mental health is the same way.”

—39, Connecticut