17 People Ponder The Reasons Some Couples Don’t Share A Room

No two relationships are the same, and unless you’re one of the people directly involved, you’ll probably never know exactly what makes one tick.

These 17 people are talking about why they don’t share a bedroom with their partner, though, and it’s honestly pretty enlightening.

17. Opposite schedules.

My wife and I do this. Originally started because we worked opposite schedules. Absolutely the best thing for our marriage.

We snuggle in bed together before sleeping, still have plenty of physical intimacy but at the same time both get to have the best sleep possible we can have in our own beds.

16. It can be good for your marriage.

I 100% recommend it. My wife and I started sleeping in separate rooms probably seven years ago. At first, we felt guilty about it, as if there was something wrong with our marriage, but the fact is, we are both light sleepers, and my wife likes to zone out on her phone in bed, which kept me awake, and I would start to get anxious about getting enough sleep.

I tossed and turned a lot and would keep waking her up, and if I got up to pee at night, she would wake up and have a hard time going to sleep again. We even invested in a king-size bed, which only yielded a marginal improvement in our sleep quality.

Then someone gave us a queen-sized bed which we put in our guest room, and I started sleeping there, and instantly our quality of sleep and quality of life improved. It took a long time until we told anyone about it because we didn’t want to be judged but now, we have made peace with it.

15. You do you.

Sleep together,
sleep apart –
By yourselves,
or heart to heart –
Back to back,
or on your own –
Hand in hand,
or each alone!

Spare your space,
or share a bed –
Make your own place,
lounge and spread –
Cuddle up,
and when it’s through –
Snooze as singles.

You do you.

14. All about space and quiet time.

Sometimes its just comforting to know you have your own space aswell. My sister and her husband have separate rooms, she made her own bedroom up and I’ve noticed less fights between them. She needs her own space and quiet time sometimes and it helps.

It makes sense to me. Also totally cool that couples that share a bed. Whatever works to bring you together and sometimes that is being apart.

13. Less bickering is great.

We started sleeping apart during her second pregnancy due to her beginning to snore and both of our desires to sleep with more or less blankets, fan on or not on, window open a crack or not… it was always a moment of bickering.

Now with separate rooms we sleep soundly in conditions we both prefer.

12. Health issues.

Due to health issues, we both sleep better separately. This doesn’t mean we never sleep together, but if either of us are having trouble sleeping it’s nice to have an option.

Regarding bathrooms, so many arguments are avoided by having your own.

11. Are you a marshmallow or a rock?

I sleep in my bed of rocks, with my rock pillow. Only the thinnest sheet or I will wake up drenched in sweat. I’m 6’2, 240, and my gravitational pull would be disastrous for my wife.

My 5’0 110 pounds wife sleeps in a marshmallow with 7 thousand pillows and 52 cushions, nesting between six duvets, with a room temperature good enough to make bread. It takes me half an hour every morning to dig her up from the softest rubble to get her out of bed.

I snore. She kicks and elbow like a Muay Thai champion.

Her bathroom has enough potions and jars that OSHA has written her several warnings. Her shampoos, plural sorely needed, smell like brunch. My bathroom needs, and has, a forced ventilation system large enough that she could easily be sucked into the vents.

Hope that is enough detail.

10. Mental health struggles.

Thanks to ADHD, my husband basically hosts a dance party in his room every night.

Blasting music PLUS the TV on, room set to penguin temperatures, plus he rotates in bed non-stop like a chicken on a rotisserie.

Separate bedrooms prevents me from murdering him.

9. Tried and tested.

As a petite wife of a large man that could set the bed on fire with his body heat and snores, causing the house to shake, I get it. I love my heating pad, 2 down comforters , weighted blanket and 3 cats.

We are comfy in our nest and my husband is happy in his , with 1 sheet and 4 pillows. However, we compromise and share the master bathroom.

Works well, for nearly 50 years!

8. Practical reasons.

We sleep in separate rooms because my husband snores and I have bad bouts of insomnia.

7. Everyone sleeps great.

My wife and son sleep in one room, I sleep in another. Mostly started because I snore so bad.

Were co sleepers. Say what ya want, I don’t care. We used to all sleep in the same bed but my wife and son used to always wake me up cos I snores so bad. I tried sleeping on a mattress in the floor for a while but Thst just made it harder for them to hit me with pillows.

Now I sleep in what will be my son’s bedroom and it f**king rocks. Pitch black, cold, quiet. I sleep like a baby every night and so do they.

I miss sleeping in the same room with them but sleeping great is worth it.

6. Because sleep is awesome.

Wife snores so I sleep in the spare room. We slept together for 30 years but. we both sleep better this way. She’s had 2 sleep studies and of course didn’t snore in either one.

Where it’s a real issue is when we travel. Usually I just get an airbnb with 2 bedrooms. More expensive but I want to rest on vacation.

5. Couple goals?

I have married friends who live in San Francisco and they have their own apartments around the corner from each other. It is cheaper then getting one bigger apartment because of rent control. They also have crazy sleep habits that annoy the other.

Anyway, they’ve been happily married for 20 years now.

4. You either love it or hate it.

We sleep in separate rooms because my husband has to sleep with the TV on and it drives me bats*%t.

3. Naps alone.

It’s not exactly the same because we still sleep in the same bed, but me and my fiancé have different bedrooms (we just sleep in whichever one we end up in at night) But having separate rooms helps us have our own aesthetic/individuality and personal space.

Plus it’s nice to nap alone sometimes.

2. It’s best for everyone.

My parents do this, and me and my partner do as well for the exact same reasons.

My dad snores like a go**amn wildebeest and my mom is a very light sleeper.

My fiancé snores somehow louder than my dad, and I become hotter than the 9 circles of hell combined AND I kick in my sleep.

1. Think outside the box.

I think people are starting to realize the reality of life partnership and are more open to non-conventional ways of making it work.

I’m going to have a talk with my husband I think. Ha!

I bet I could make quite the case.