This Woman Didn’t Back Up Her Ex With The Kids. Was She Wrong?

Divorce is hard on everyone involved, but when kids are part of the equation, the road can get rockier still. Plenty of people manage to parent well together regardless of their own feelings for each other, but it can be a long road to get there.

That seems particularly true when new love interests enter the picture, and this OP and her kid’s stepmom have never gotten along.

Partly because her ex and his new wife began their affair before their marriage officially ended.

I have two sons ages 10 and 12 with my ex. We broke up over a number of issues. One of which was Emily, a woman he had worked with for years. The two of them grew very close and she was always telling me how my ex deserved better than me, that I was trying to steal his family away from him. A few times she even pretended to be his wife during work functions and my ex would laugh them off. As well as that he was really bad with money and other stuff.

After we separated he made things official with Emily which came as no surprise to me.

The new wife has been openly hostile at having OP involved in their family life at all, and OP’s ex has already been sanctioned by the court for allowing her to be too involved in exchanges with the children, etc, because of her behavior.

Emily was even more openly hostile when she realized my ex’s family still liked me and would still include me. Not to mention when she realized my boys weren’t super happy she was their dad’s new girlfriend. Emily actually called ex’s mom a c*nt for saying I was the best mom when they were all having a family dinner.

My ex got a firm warning from the judge about using Emily to do exchanges of our boys, and to deal with custody issues.

This was after her confronting me a number of times during exchanges in front of my children and of her showing not just hostility, but saying things that could be taken as alienation of a parent.

He continued to allow this and ex was fined for breaching the judges orders. He was told if it happened again custody would be modified.

Recently, her ex and his wife have been asking OP to encourage her boys to treat and see the new wife as a mother. OP refuses because of the wife’s awful words and actions.

Recently there has been an increase in the anger toward me. Emily is unable to have children and she wanted the boys to consider her a mom. They asked me for help and I said nope.

That Emily was not the mother of my children and I wasn’t going to encourage them to consider her one after the years of verbal abuse from her.

Things came to a head when the stepmom tried to pull the “I’m your mother” card and OP refused to back them up.

The boys had an award night back at the start of June at school and while there, Emily told the boys to get in photos with her for the school newsletter.

They said no. She told them she wasn’t asking.

They said she wasn’t their mom so she couldn’t say that. My ex scolded the boys but I said nothing.

Ex and Emily said I should have backed them up and not allowed disrespect. I told them I did not find what they said disrespectful.

Is she wrong, or allowing her boys to grow up rude?

They have claimed I am a sh*%ty parent and I should not have let my kids get away with that. And I am teaching them to disrespect women, etc.

So now I am here to find out AITA?

Reddit’s weighing in below!

The top commenter thinks that OP should consider taking serious action to protect her boys going forward.

This person says that boundaries aren’t a bad thing, no matter how old or young someone is.

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This comment says that therapy probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.

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And if they did have a therapist, they might come in handy in court.

Image Credit: Reddit

Everyone thinks OP should consider documenting and brining it up to the judge.

Image Credit: Reddit

Man, things get so complicated once kids are involved.

One more reminder to make sure you’re ready for a lifetime commit to another adult before you have littles together!