14.
“I started working with this amazing guy while I was separated from my husband. He was married and, although the relationship was rocky at best, he was a dedicated husband. We just instantly clicked. We were friends for the year that we worked together, flirting but never crossing a physical line. We both acknowledged the chemistry and our immediate bond but kept a respectful distance because of his marriage. Looking back, it was probably an emotional affair at that point.”
“We told each other everything and were extremely close. The job ended, and we went our separate ways. I reconciled with my husband for a time, enduring marriage counseling and focusing intently on our church life. We kept in touch but it was scarce contact, both of us focused on trying to save our respective marriages.
A while later, he heard I was job hunting and let me know that there was a position open at a new place that he thought I’d be perfect for. It was right up my alley, and I took it immediately. It put us working closely together again.
His marriage was failing, and so was mine. I was in the process of trying to extricate myself from a violent marriage, all the while knowing that leaving is the most dangerous time for a battered spouse. He began actively pursuing me almost as soon as he separated from his wife.
He was considerably older than I was, but I didn’t care at all. He treated me with such care and respect and love. I was a shadow of the women I once was after more than a decade of family violence in my marriage. I had lost all of my confidence, and he began to build it up by being patient and kind.
I was still married and still living with my husband, but I was fully engulfed in the affair. We argued about how I could leave my marriage from opposite sides of the room, him sitting in a corner trying to make his huge frame small and non-threatening while I paced. I couldn’t even be close to him when we argued because I’d get scared and freak out. We had years of trauma to work through.
Meanwhile, I left my marriage and began the tortuous work of legally extricating myself and my kids from a dangerous situation. I moved in to an awful apartment away from my husband, and we formally separated. There were threats and assaults and even an attempted murder. My husband made up ridiculous stories and used the police and child protective services to stalk and harass me.
Eventually I moved in with the man from work and got custody of my kids. He was amazing from the very start. The kids had a lot to unlearn. The oldest had a habit of getting in the middle when her younger siblings were in trouble, an almost unconscious need to protect them from the man in the house. Eventually they learned he would never hurt them and began to build relationships with him and trust him.
We’ve been married for years now, and the affair was the best thing I ever did for myself and for my kids. He’s an amazing dad and the kind of husband I couldn’t have even imagined a decade ago. I have regrets, but none about the affair that led to our eventual marriage.”
—Anonymous
Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/meganeliscomb/workplace-affairs