If You Live With A Child Who Has A Life-Threatening Allergy, Should Everyone In The House Abstain?

I write this post as someone who has a life-threatening peanut allergy, and as someone whose parents absolutely expected her to manage it herself from a very young age.

My mother did and continues to bake with peanuts, especially at the holidays.

This OP is a stepmother to twin 9yo girls, one of whom is allergic to peanuts. She’s pregnant, though, and sometimes gets a craving for a Snickers.

The other issue is that OP can’t tell the girls apart, though colored bracelets were supposed to have solved this issue.

I (25F) am married to my husband Richard (42M). He has two identical twin daughters with his ex-wife who are 9 years old. For the purpose of this post, I’ll call them Isabelle and Maria.

I struggle to tell the girls apart so my husband gave Isabelle a pink wrist band and Maria a blue one so I could tell them apart.

I’m currently 5 months pregnant with our son and one of my biggest cravings is snickers bars. This is an issue because Maria is allergic to nuts, so I usually eat them in my car, our bedroom or the backyard to avoid contamination. Maria’s allergy is quite severe and she knows she isn’t supposed to eat anything with nuts in them.

Recently OP was enjoying some mini-Snickers in her own bedroom when she thought she was home alone, only to find out when a girl appeared that her father had dropped her off.

OP asked her name, checked her bracelet, and then allowed her to sit with her.

When she asked for some candy, OP shared, figuring the allergic twin would know better than to eat it.

On Friday, I was sat in my bedroom going ham on some mini snickers bars while watching Netflix when one of the twins came in my room. I asked who she was and she said she was Isabelle and she asked to come sit by me.

I didn’t even know she was at home but she told me that her dad dropped her off with the keys and he went back to work which is something he does often without telling me.

I checked the wrist band to make sure it was Isabelle and she had a pink one so I didn’t think twice and I let her sit by me.

She took a piece of chocolate from me and ate it which to me confirmed I was with Isabelle because Maria knows she’s not supposed to have Snickers.

Well, it was the allergic twin and they ended up with an epipen injection and a trip to the ER. The girls admitted they were trying to play a prank on her.

Turns out I was wrong and the girls had swapped wrist bands to play a joke on me and she immediately started experiencing a reaction. Thankfully I had an epi pen and I drove her to the ER and called my husband.

He called their mother who was infuriated and she started yelling at me in the ER waiting area and I ended up having a panic attack. Maria ended up being fine and the girls came clean about wanting to play a prank on me. Maria hasn’t had a reaction for the past few years so she’s saying she forgot how bad and serious they were.

Biomom is angry and plenty of people are telling OP that she was careless with the peanut candy, and that it shouldn’t even be in the house.

My husband is on my side and he’s saying that the Maria is old enough to know she shouldn’t be eating any nut products and it’s not my fault I thought she was Isabelle but their mother is saying that I shouldn’t have any nut products in the house that could tempt Maria and since I struggle to tell them apart, the smart thing wouldve been for me not to allow either of them to have the chocolate.

She’s now demanding that the girls aren’t to be left alone with me and other family members are berating me for being careless. I just feel so awful and terrible and I would like an unbiased outside perspective on the situation. AITA for giving my stepdaughter a snickers bar?

Does Reddit agree, or do they think stepmom is being made into the bad guy here? Let’s find out!

The top comment says that the child is old enough to know better, and is the only person at fault in this situation.

“The whole world can’t stop for one allergy.”

Image Credit: Reddit

This person says the stepmom is handling the allergy just fine.

Image Credit: Reddit

They think the biomom should really be upset with her daughter.

Image Credit: Reddit

This teacher says the girls likely weren’t trying to be malicious, but should have been smart enough to call it when the peanut candy came out.

Image Credit: Reddit

I feel so bad for this poor woman who is clearly doing her best.

I hope the girls have learned their lesson!