It’s been about three months since Halsey gave birth to their first child, and in the days since, she has been open about the start of her parenthood journey. In early August, they showed off photos of their postpartum stretch marks, and later that month, she shared her frustrations with how some in the music industry handled her pregnancy. Now Halsey is one again pulling the curtain back, this time on their Saturday Night Live performance and what their body looks like now.

During her performance of “I Am Not A Woman, I’m A God,” Halsey wore a tight-fitting and physically flattering outfit, which apparently led to a lot of compliments. Halsey addressed that praise in a new Instagram post today by sharing photos showing that her postpartum body isn’t as slender as it seemed on SNL.

In a lengthy caption, Halsey explained, “The body behind all those compliments the other night was wearing a custom tailored outfit and lighted perfectly after much testing, so I could feel good and do my job. I do not want to feed the Illusion that you’re meant to feel and look ‘great’ immediately postpartum. […] I will never have my ‘pre baby body back’ no matter how it changes physically because I have now had a baby! And that has altered me forever; emotionally, spiritually, and physically. That change is permanent. And I don’t want to go back!”

Find Halsey’s post below.

“I am posting this because no matter what I do people are going to talk about my body. It is confusing symptom of being in the public eye so rather than complain I am going to give you something real to talk about! I did SNL two nights ago and a lot of people were quick to say how good I looked. That was a weird feeling. My body has felt like a stranger’s for a long time. I uphold myself to honesty to the point of over sharing sometimes but this feels important. The first picture on this slide is days after my baby was already born. A lot of people don’t know that you still look pregnant for a while after. It is still changing and I am letting it. I have no interest in working out right now. I’m too tired and too busy playing with my darling son. With that being said, the body behind all those compliments the other night was wearing a custom tailored outfit and lighted perfectly after much testing, so I could feel good and do my job. I do not want to feed the Illusion that you’re meant to feel and look ‘great’ immediately postpartum. That is not my narrative currently. If you’ve been following me because you’re also a parent and you dig what I’m doing, please know I’m in your corner. I will never have my ‘pre baby body back’ no matter how it changes physically because I have now had a baby! And that has altered me forever; emotionally, spiritually, and physically. That change is permanent. And I don’t want to go back! But In the spirit of honesty, I’m really tired and not a superhuman and this is really hard. Doing my best to serve my art and my family whilst keeping it all so very real. Love.”

Source: https://uproxx.com/pop/halsey-snl-post-partum-body/

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