On Friday, a shooter killed ten people in a high school in Texas. Amongst the two teachers and eight students killed was a girl named Shana Fisher. In an interview, Fisher’s mother alleged that the shooter, Dimitrios Pagourtzis, had been harassing her daughter for months.
She said that Fisher had rejected him many times, but he kept asking her out. In her mother’s words, Fisher “embarrassed” him in class and within a week, he had killed her and others in the school, with the alleged intention of doing more. Pagourtzis also brought explosive devices that malfunctioned on site. He is currently in police custody.
There are many conversations being had about gun control and school safety. GOP legislators are of course arguing for pretty much everything except making guns less accessible—for instance, the state governor is suggesting schools should have fewer doors, and that would keep kids safe. Unless there’s a fire.
But a conversation sparked by Fisher’s story is what we tell young boys about what they’re owed from women.
To be clear, they’re owed nothing. Absolutely zero. However, we don’t teach boys that. We teach them to wear women down. Twitter user @adigoesswimming has definitely had enough of that.
Quoting the Fisher’s mother, she started a thread about what she said to her nephew who got rejected by a girl he liked.
According to @adigoesswimming, no one had ever told her nephew that when a girl says she isn’t interested, you leave her alone. You do not keep asking over and over until she concedes.
Admirably, @adigoesswimming is trying to respond to the many people attracted to her tweet. It’s a bit of a hot button issue.
In her opinion, learning to deal with being rejected is part of growing up, and a lot of people are not learning this as kids.
There is also a long connection between domestic violence and mass shooters. It’s often cited as a sign that there is worse to come, but women are often not given the support they need in domestic violence situations or heard when they warn police.
Some people think that the problem is what kids are taught in movies about what romance looks like:
And some people think that kids should figure it out on their own:
There area lot of uncomfortable talks that need to be had with kids to make sure they have realistic and respectful relationships as they grow older.
No means no. Don’t try to qualify it.